music snobs, you know who you are...

Warning: each day is worse than the one before. I won't bore you with the boring details except to say that putting my two children to bed took me nearly an hour and that doesn't include a bath, and they miss their dead cat, to which for some unknown reason I became possessed by Satan and replied, "Well, I can't bring her back, can I?"

And everybody cried SOME MORE!!

Don't you wish I was your mommy??

**&^%%$$$#@##$%&^&**

A quick update on you-know-who. I was going to wait for an answer about whether I could steal a name from Never Sober Guy, but he slammed my jeep, so screw it. Waterbed guy is now dubbed: Dumbgasm. I thought it fit nicely with his feature on his waterbed, and the dumb part works for the location of the bed, among other things.

Nothing new to report except that today he discovered colored font, which will be good for better expressing his emotions.

**&^#$%^&*())((*^%%$**

Now, onto our feature presentation:

What follows was a rather diplomatic post about music tastes (mine in particular) of which I wrote the rough this morning. However, I suspect things may take a turn for the worse. This is a response to something Tommywommy said on Jack's (<--- see over THERE for link)(ok, that took as long as just throwing up a link) post about headphones. Basically, he ripped on Ipod. Then he said to me "Bring it, girl" which totally turned me on, and he should know better than to do that THIS week of all weeks. Next week I'd just "take it out" on PHF. This week I'm taking it out on all you. I suspect some of you are the teensiest bit of music "snobs" (translate: know-it-all fucks) who might assume because I like Green Day and Lincoln Park and because I own an Ipod that my music tastes are mundane.

First to address the Ipod issue. Ipods are rather like an abusive boyfriend who buys you lovely gifts and takes you to fancy parties. It's an absurdly expensive, inferior, yet convenient, user-friendly, stylish product that I am often displeased with, but also love with a passion beyond reason. (I fucking dropped mine twice today. Fucking-A.) (Hey, this is fun, I think I'll put my additions in parentheses so you can tell the difference between my mood this am and now! Ok, well, it's fun for me, so piss off.)

I'm no music expert, and I find those who are a bit tiresome. (I hear one and yell, FIRE!! to escape.) I don't seek out underground bands and the latest shit, unless it comes at me through the radio or from friends. Frankly I don't have the time. Boulder has a great scene and I put my time in coffee shops and bars, but the kids are too young now. (Read: free show, four bucks in coffee, twenty in alcohol to bring me down after the caffeine, and a cool fifty in babysitting. The band had better be pretty fucking awesome.) (I'm really selling parenthood to y'all, huh.)

I took a few year's hiatis from new music in the 90s because all the radio stations in KS frankly sucked. (Sucked doesn't begin to describe it - I went from Lawrence, a mecca for music and other forms of intelligence, to Wichita. Wichita.) I recently started actively listening again when I started writing, and imagine my delight to "discover" all that ten-year-old great music. Yeah, I discovered it late. I didn't listen to Nirvana until after well after Kurt was dead. I'm trying out Industrial; with a much more patient ear than I had in my 20s, I might add. I'd heard Green Day before, of course, but I just recently invested in all their albums. So sue me. What the hell does it matter when you discover something? That's one of my problems with music snobs - they got real bad "heard it first" syndrome. (They also can keep everybody's name straight and I'm awful at names. You should see my blogroll - it's got everybody's names on it next to the names of your blogs so that I can keep them straight.)(But I love each and every one of you for YOU!)

I can't speak about popular music all that intelligently, but I sure as hell can listen intelligently. This is because I was blessed by having teenaged guys as older brothers (I'm ten years behind) in the 70s right when all the really great rock was in its drug-induced, guitar-smashing, long-hair, tight-jeaned splendor. I was too young to go to concerts, but I listened to the vinyl and I had cool xxsmall t-shirts, like the Stones and The Who, that they brought me back from the actual shows. I could recite Hotel California from memory like poetry. I have some of the Beach Boy's autographs. I knew who Elvis Costello was before he was anybody, because my brother went to listen to him in a bar and no one else was there so they chatted for awhile.

Additonally, my dad invested in a decent stereo when stereos first got decent: component based with fuckin' monster speakers. When it came time for me to get a boom box for my room, Dad wouldn't let me because the sound was inferior. I had a real stereo, fairly good for the time, and it played vinyl, 8-track AND tapes, which were new then.Even my mom; whose sole but eloquent contribution to my popular music education was to say, "I don't do country;" always listened to rock and popular music. (Satan, tie me up and make me listen to Britney Spears if you must; but true Hell to me is hearing the opening strains of any country song without spotting an exit sign.)

(My parents also let me watch Saturday Night Live when it was new - as in I saw Killer Bees when it first aired. I was pretty little, and most of what I recall is them doubled over in laughter and gasping, "This isn't appropriate for little Sex, here, but I don't want to stop watching to take her to bed." Never quit watching it either. Well until about five years ago when it really started sucking. Jebus, guys, give up the ghost already.)(Another interesting side note: I saw Jim Belushi on the stage - can't remember the fucking play - the day John died. He went on anyway and I've always respected him for that. And I saw Yul Brinner in The King and I and Cats in London and Mark Hamill in Amadeus and he smiled at me. It was a matinee. We were the youngest people in the place.)(I don't know where I'm going with this. Holy fuck, I've got to get some sleep, so moving on...)

I think I have a decent working ability to recognize good music when I hear it, if not always why it's good. I also have a natural ear. I can always recognize artists' voices when they sub in other bands. When listening to Green Day live I realised ahead of time that Billie Joe wasn't going to carry out that long note at the end of Holiday - the rhythm was off and I could hear that he didn't have the air to do it. (He did one later, even longer. That boy's got lungs on him.) It took me one vignette on Idiot to realize that it was a rock opera, and I talked about it being an opera before the guys on the radio did. That's why I insisted on seeing them live right away so that I could see it performed fresh. (To my everlasting disappointment, they did not perform the entire opera. Fuckers. But I'd see them again in a heartbeat.) I know enough to appreciate that Chester has a vocal range practically unheard of in this day and age, as well as a valuable sense of humor about his ability. (He reminds me of someone of old, but I suck at names, remember?) I can appreciate how Brandon Flowers does so well in Britain because I've heard years of music come out of that country, and I can hear the influences on Franz Ferdinand and Social Distortion because I heard those influences when they were new.

As to the Ipod, yeah, I know the sound sucks. I love music, but I have a little bit of trouble catching nuances of the tunes since my ears are a bit worn from attending concerts for about TWO DECADES longer than many of you. I also like listening to music LOUD. Always have, always will. We have some serious, custom-designed stereo/media equipment at home. I don't know about the Bose headphones, but I've been in the store and their shit doesn't begin to compare to ours. However, my stock Bose system in my car is ok (no point in investing in real stuff when there're tender virgin ears in the back seat). Better than the MBCourts in Beastie - I blew one of those in the first two months. Courts used to be awesome ten or fifteen years ago, but maybe not so much now. I don't listen to my Ipod to get a "total music immersion experience". I listen mostly to keep the losers from talking to me. I have all albums on my Ipod and mostly I listen to entire albums.

Oh, and no discussion of my taste can go without a mention of PHF. He shaped my later likes - he did the 80s with gusto, but the grimmer stuff like the Cure and Cult and Depeche Mode. He also introduced me to REM. I'd heard them before, but he took me to my first show. We've seen them four times, from sixth row in a teensy Kansas City venue to Red Rocks. Currently I've got a couple of folks to advise me about music, among them BB. He's got superb wide-open taste - but then, he went to school in Austin where music is obviously king of the hill.

Music lists are also tiresome, but in the interest of learning more (yeah, here's where you get to tell me what I should like - hang on Tommytunes, we're nearly through), I'll share a little. We don't have the hugest library - probably around 200 or so, but I'll tell you what's in my changer at home - which is the biggest indication of what I'm listening to while writing, which means what I'm really listening to. Lorenna McKennit, that rap/linkin park thingy, the Cult - Sonic Temple, and an older Offspring, can't recall which one, and Sum 41 from a few years back. Feel free to make suggestions of things (crap) you like and I'll give it a try. Those who scoff my taste, I'll say in advance to go fuck yourself.

Shows I want to see (but probably never will):
U2. New album sucks, but the old stuff is golden.
Stones. Does Keith Richards even still have the fine motor skills to chord?
The Who. It was always a fucking lottery. I never win at anything, not even Bingo.
REM. Maybe at Red Rocks in July. Last September was fucking freezing!!
Something industrial. I have a feeling this would be best live, but what the hell would I wear?? BB, help me out here...
Linkin Park. Yes, Tomilicous, Linkin Park.
Flogging Molly. This one is more likely.

Music types:
Country. Sucks. The. Big. (T)Wang.
Jazz is only good live. I loathe recorded jazz.
Christian Rock. eh. I swear to give your bro-in-law a try though, FF.
Rock - Soft rock or any bastardization of rock is a travesty. Rock is sacred.
Punk, Punk-Rock - probably closest to my tastes, but I get sick of anything.
Alternative - ditto.
Chamber/Classical- I can take a short bit recorded, but I love much of it live.
Showtunes -Let's leave it to the gays, shall we? I tried for years to like musicals, but people breaking into song just ruins a good play for me.
The Wiggles, and various other kid music. I know lots of moms who listen to that rubbish in the car with their kids. Good for them. I think I've made it clear that I'm hardly mother of the year. (My kids will thank me later.)
Rap- I wanted to like it. I really did. But I find it mostly annoying and so full of slang and profanity that even I won't play it in front of the kids.

Oh, and yeah, I had my metal days too. Then I grew up and went to high school.

Ok, let me have it...

12 comments:

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Oh my God, what a sanctimonious load of CRAP. If this is still here in the morning you'll know that I got too busy to rethink it and potentially remove it. Apologies all round.

Greg said...

Sex leave it this is excellent. Everybody should be entitled at least one music post before the topic becomes equatable to watching an old man scrub his nutsack in the shower.

I'll be totally honest, I'm a music junkie. I've already filled my 160 gig harddrive with about 130 gigs of music =/. Soulseek tells me I have 29,000+ files. Yeah I know, I have too much time on my hands. That's one part of it, the other being that I just can't get enough music. I don't go out referring bands to people, I don't talk about "how much I love music", I don't go on websites to discuss "cool bands", I just enjoy the thrill of being blown away by musicians i never knew existed. And let me just be honest with a side of bragging. I have an excellent ear for music as well. I can tell when someone is wearing their sentiments too fully on their sleeves, I can tell when the music is contrived, I can tell when the musician just doesn't give a fuck, I can tell when the musician is commanding the notes, I can tell when the notes are just writing themselves. But at the same time I can't stand music elitists, and the only reason I can stand myself is because I really truly do just love new and good music.

But any fucking ways. If you like 80's music, the new New Order cd "Waiting for the Sirens' call" makes me smile. It's not out yet but its floating around on the internet. I'm also really loving "Psychopharmacology" by this band called Firewater. It's good straight up rock. Also, I suggest a band called Spoon, my favorite album from them is called "Girls can tell". The dude sings really cool-like. Anyways, there's 3 bands for ya. I promise you'll like them. Listen to me and nobody else sex!

That Girl said...

Sex, I agree with Greg, don't remove this post. It's funny how our music tastes change too. I mean, what you've always liked is still there, but to get into something else is sometimes a reflection on your thoughts or mood. I will date myself: High school for me was also The Cult, and New Order, Depeche Mode, Echo, and my personal connection with Siouxsie. Evolved into pissing my mom off with "bitchin' camaro". Now, I'm just one of those people you'd probably disagree with because an acoustic guitar just turns me on to no end. I have those days, where I too pull out the Linkin Park and the Greenday. Hell, I saw 50 cent & Snoop live (no laughing at me), but the acoustic guitar just feels so damn good! Good post, Sex.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Greggie - Yeah, I guess I'll look at it like I got it out of the way and now I can get on to writing about more important things, like alcohol withdrawel vs the flu (trembling, chills, hot-flashes, irritation, virtigo). I'll check out the bands. Thx sweetie.

TG - you know, I was delighted to discover I had a reader in her 30s. I think you're the only one. Most of my readership is comprised of horny 18-25 year old guys.

Not that I don't love them to pieces. :D Good fodder for the ole imagination...

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Great music post! Everyone should write about the music they love and hate.
Blue

Todd said...

I wouldn't compare your home sound system to something in the Bose store. No real audiophile would ever consider buying a Bose product.

(Don't get the impression that I'm an audiophile. I'm not. Neither my ears nor my disposable income are good enough for that. But I know enough of them to know they don't go for Bose.)

I used to be turned off by showtunes, too. But there are a few musicals I really like now that I've expanded my tastes to cover more theater and opera.

T Kwong said...

Don't dress up for industrial shows; just go in what you'd normally go to shows in. Well, unless you see Lucid Dementia (www.luciddementia.com), then bring bring a stick to hit the puppet with if it goes after you.

Sex, I'm not going to criticize you're music tastes. I don't like all the band's you do, but that's fine.

I like recorded jazz because I can't exactly see Miles Davis, Buddy Rich, or Dizzy Gillespie anymore.

I think your comments on rap might be less of an issue if you listened to less of the misoginistic ew. Maybe something like Brother Ali (http://www.rhymesayers.com/aDetail.php?aId=8&cT=Bio) or Sage Francis (http://www.epitaph.com/bands/index.php?id=410). They still swear, but not quite as much. Stuff I like, anyway.

Wolfmother (www.wolfmother.com) has got a serious Black Sabbath-vibe you might like. Clorox Girls (http://www.cloroxgirls.com/) put out my favorite old-style punk album this year. For industrial: I don't really know what to suggest/reccomend. You can never go wrong with Front Line Assembly (www.frontlineassembly.com), Suicide Commado (http://www.suicidecommando.be/), or Feindflug (http://www.feindflug.info/). Feindflug may sound like Nazi's, but that's just because it's creepy German.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: For more fun you can listen to my wonderful radio station (www.radiok.org). Jack can testify to it's sweetness. Saturdays 7-9 (Central) the evil music show is on.

I'm sorry, I'll never do that again.

-Thomas

T Kwong said...

Oh, and don't rag on Bose too hard. It's not that they make bad stuff, it's just engineered to sound a certain way and if you don't like the way it sounds, then you are right on for not buying anything from them. I like my headphones though, they're toasty and they sound good to me.

-Thomas

sex scenes at starbucks said...

You guys think that I can differentiate between way- excellent speakers and semi-excellent speakers. PHF can attest: I can't and I'm pretty much just copying what he would say. He's the picky one who can, and he's pretty damn picky. I've heard that those Bose headphones are actually pretty cool, if not doofy looking.

Tommamomma- your shameless self-promotion is fine. How else will anybody find out about it? Thx for the reccommendations.

This post embodies much of what I hate: people talking about music beyond saying "hey, you might like this..." or "I heard this cool band." The only reason it's still here is because Greggie and TG encouraged it. But I appreciate everybody's suggestions and I'll try them out - all of them!

And then I'll write a review of each one.


Heh, just kiddin' ya!

Amber Lynn said...

I love my iPod. And I have floor tickets for the U2 concert on April 14th in Phoenix. Yea! Oh, I have a question for you on my blog today. I need to know what sex hair is......

Never Sober Man said...

You know the only bastards worse than music snobs are those fucking car/truck snobs. If I were to recommend any band I would recommend Queens of the Stone Age. Did I even use the word "Dumbgasm"??? I'm going to go have to check now.

T Kwong said...

I would say that if you check out Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss (http://www.stonerrock.com/kyuss/) might be the spot too (as most of Kyuss became Queens of the Stone Age).

That, and I like Kyuss a little more, but not by much.

-Thomas