disclaimer: read post below first

No links for you! You guys have to prove to me that you won't abuse the priviledge by leaving a bunch of comments that will lead him back here. I might be able to trust, say, Tommylommylooneytunes, to go and return without commenting. But I can't trust the rest of you! Besides, how will I maintain exclusive hazing rights if everyone can read him?? But I promised updates, so here's the first.

In an effort to field questions about why he put a waterbed in the garage he informs us that he's moving out there, despite sharing a nice house with great roommates, because he sleepwalks and creeps out his roommate. (His pic wasn't the first clue that he was creepy.) Also, there are lots of outlets out there. Why this is important, we've yet to learn.

Oh, and if you were wondering, the waterbed only cost 25 bucks. Sounds nice doesn't it?

...it took care of the problem of no clothes storage out there, because it has six drawers built in...

Or, you can keep your stash in it.

...So I'm not going to move out until probibly after spring break, but I might have a sleep over out there with some of my friends tomorrow just to have fun

Yeah, that'll be great...

Obviously, he runs with an exciting group of folks. If the above plan doesn't sound titilating enough, this is what one of his (I'm gonna have to make up a real handle for him and I'm taking suggestions) mates said the other day about going to McDonalds:

The 2nd amazing thing was the pop machine... Yes, there was a first amazing thing about using an ATM card at the drive through. Fascinating shit, that. ..The guy just imput all the information like the size and beverage. Then it was like... LIKE?? Is this guy a twelve year old girl, or what?? ..all automatic from there. It had this arm thing pull out the cup then was like on a revolving track and ice was spit into the cup. Then the pop was poured in then another shot was put in to top it all off. Now if the machine could have just put the lid on it and handed it to me i would have said McDonalds you have gone to far and are scaring me.

Holy fucking shit, what will those crazy people at McDonalds come up with next?!?! However, I am interested in the "second shot to top it all off'... d'ya think all the petitions and boycotting have finally paid off and McDs will start serving alcohol??

I know I'm being nasty, and my fascination with this guy will probably end by Saturday, when I plan on rectifying the fact that I'm undersexed and stone cold sober. So I'm not as tolerant of the exceedingly prevelant stupid assholes in Blogland as I usually am.

And I only got three hours sleep last night since I drank tea and hot chocolate instead of whiskey.

And I think I stepped on someone's toes a bit today, or at least caused him a bit of anxiety, and for that I'm feeling truly sorry.

And it's only fucking TUESDAY!!

I hate this week, all week long.


Vir.ti.go said...

Let me know when you can start drinking again. I'll buy you a shot.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Friday night, V.

Never Sober Man said...

This guy sounds like the kind of kid whose psycho parents locked him in their basement till about six months ago, either that or he us to be Amish. I guess that's kind of the same thing though

That Girl said...

I kinda feel sorry for the kid. A freakish sleepwalker who likes to rollerskate and gets off on the "pop" machine at McDonald's. No wonder he's been put in the garage. Wonder if he'll figure out what to do with the waterbed?

sex scenes at starbucks said...

well, the McDonald's piece was from a "friend" of his.
but yes, the deeper I delve, the sadder it gets. that's why it won't last long - i'll start to feel sorry for the bastard and his lame life. as for the waterbed - well, he mentions the word gay a lot so I'm a little concerned that he's repressing. as well there's the whole matter of the sleepover... somehow I don't think chics are invited.

pete said...

"Now if the machine could have just put the lid on it and handed it to me i would have said McDonalds you have gone to far and are scaring me."
that right there is the hight of human conquest and it is truly amaizing to see it in our local McDonalds! maybe one day we can send this machine to mars to pour soda for all the Martians. and to think I was going to settle just buying earth a coke!

T Kwong said...

Sex, you be frontin' bouts this iPod sheet.


sex scenes at starbucks said...

it's in comp mode right now and I'll post later tonite. I ran out of time and had to do real writing. sorry for the delay, but it'll be scathing, of course.

Greg said...

This guy sounds like one big gigantic bag of fun. Keep us updated, I knew people like this existed but I never thought I'd be given the priveledge to observe them in their own natural habitat.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Do we seem like the kind of people who would harass someone? We are very nice people, so the little voices in my head tell me.

Can you be bribed with booze or money or both?