heinlein's rules, sexified 1: you must write

Or:

1. Write, damn you, Write!

The internet. Kids. The day job. Writer's block. The muse got drunk last night. The dog ran away. Laundry. Lunch with a friend. Your spouse doesn't "get" it. Your mother wishes you were normal.

Welcome to the fucking club. (Or, which is more fun, the Fucking Club--totally different thing and there's only one rule.)


Sex echoes Heinlein:" You must write." (and "Touch your naughty bits." Dirty old Mr Heinlein. Kidding!)

But here's where I'm not kidding. No one said this writing gig wouldn't take sacrifice. No one said it wasn't hard. It is. Hard. So buck the fuck up. Write, damn you, write! That is if you want to be an actual red-blooded writer and not just a poser.

I don't care if it's four thousand words or just four. Every day. Get something down on paper or screen or ePaper or whatever the kids are calling the ones and zeros that add up to a story these days.

Ya, I said every day, pussy. You don't get a pass on that, not from me. Ya, I know some people write only on third Saturdays and put books out just fine. Whatever. You asked my opinion and you're getting it. Okay, you didn't ask. You're still getting it. Per usual.

Every. F. Day.

Christ on a rope, at least write every day at the beginning of the story, during the honeymoon. And then right after that when your sidekick takes a left turn at Albuquerque. And then after that, when you'd rather vacuum the dog for fleas. And then after that, when you'd rather have a colonoscopy, awake. Especially then. That's important, the most important time, the writing when you'd rather do anything else but write.

Actually, I'm not a'carin' what you write. A blog. A journal. The next Pulitzer novel. Whatever. Write when it sucks and when it flows. Words are words are words and every single damn one of them has something to teach us. We learn when we string them together. Get to a million of them and you might get the foggiest idea of what it take to do this writing gig. At least you'll know whether you're learning, whether it's worthwhile, whether you feel the peace in your soul from writing.

Feel the peace, man. 


Oh, and writer's block? It's the longest running play in the world and only posers get seats reserved front row and center.







9 comments:

Melanie Mulhall said...

Well, Ms. Betsy, I can see how this is going to go. This is a little like S and M coaching. Oddly, it's what I need . . . and I'm not sure what that says about me.


Melanie Mulhall

sex scenes at starbucks, said...

S&M coaching; not sure I'm qualified. But beating people into submission--well, I am a mother!!

Thx for stopping by!!

Peter Dudley said...

You really have to conquer that temerity of yours that holds you back from saying what you really think.

sex scenes at starbucks, said...

Whatever do you mean, Peter? :)

Anonymous said...

Good job, Bets. heinlein's Rules are all about kicking you in the ass and putting you to work.
--William Brock

Wendy said...

Write. Write. Write! I like that you clarified mixing it up a bit. Sometimes it's nice to just cut loose on the blog or in a fun, creative letter to a friend or just in a journal as well as the "real" writing. It all exercises the muscles!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Awesome. Now I must go write something...

fpdorchak said...

I thought there were gonna be aliens, and rockets, and shit....

;-]

sex scenes at starbucks, said...

Stay tuned...