- Screw you and all your weirdo spammers and creepers. Go away now.
- Customized feed wherein I pick only the people I want to see. The ads don't bother me nearly as much as the algorithm that constantly tosses posts my way I have no interest in. It's always been shit for marketing and reach (I mean, server space doesn't cost that much... I've never understood why it's so poor) so I use it primarily to hang with friends and look at pretty pictures of houses.
- Reeling back on using PMing for business talk. (erg, I'm guilty of that today. Should have emailed. My bad.)
- A feed that goes in order of appearance with zero backtracking just because someone posted a comment. I'll hit it up in my notifications if I'm interested, thanks.
- MOAR PRETTY HOUSE PICTURES PLEASE
- Just... just calm down. Chill pill, dude. You know I love you but settle the fuck down.
- Posts that make sense. There's so much on there I don't get, like I'm jumping in the middle of a conversation, which sometimes I am but which sometimes I'm definitely not because Twitter encourages #randomnonsensicalthoughts
- Hashtags mostly as jokes.
- Closed groups or way to organize feed into different threads. Sure, I know, there are apps.
- Apps that actually WORK in organizing my feed into different threads
- Stop being so happy. At least have one frowny day a week. How about Monday?
- MOAR NSFW PICTURES (hey, you promised!)
- Um. Hello? Anybody there?
- tsū ... Say again?
- I'll bid 500 for a capital T, Alex.