Writing an acknowledgments letter is a weird gig. It feels a little bit like an obituary, and I guess it is. Every book has its own life, its own soul. I'm writing the sequel to EXILE now, called EMISSARY. It is a very different book on many levels. Draken is a different person, though he has a constant core. But his story, his message, his concerns, are all different. In some ways it takes EXILE's message deeper.*  It certainly takes Draken's fears deeper, and with them, my own.

Maybe too it's weird because I'm such a radically different person than I was 6 years ago when I started writing EXILE. The acknowledgments letter was a little like the obituary of that person, too. So much has changed. So much.

I have dead people in my acknowledgments. I have people listed who I spoke to nearly every day when I was writing EXILE and now go 6 months easy without it; and I have newer friends who are dear to me and others who ... aren't, anymore. (which doesn't mean they are any less important).  I have old friends listed who went full circle from being friend to unfriend and back to friend.

Plus I have kids friends and my own. The differences of what I would say about them now and then are astounding. Six years ago I barely knew some of these kids. They were auxiliary creatures whose sense of humor consisted of saying things wrong. Now some of them have a better sense of humor than adults I know. I even got to include the newest member of my family, a baby who will be 8 mos old when the book comes out.

The only constant was what I said about my husband (No. You have to wait.) and the quote at the start of the book:

Terror is our only enemy.
We defeat it by dying.
Brînian proverb

Everything in between after those words seemed... in flux somehow. In motion. Dynamic. Until I wrote the acknowledgements.That seemed to set it all in stone. Which I think is a good thing. I suppose I'll find out.

*Message? What fucking message? I wish I knew. It's there; I just can't articulate it. Well, I can. I did. In 104,000 words. Le sigh.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like it will be a fitting, poetic tribute to those who helped you.

BTW, I like "auxilliary beings." I'll have to file that one away.

sex scenes at starbucks, said...

When I first started writing this book, my son was eight! Now he's almost 14!! Very odd thing to think how some of my friends kids are also becoming my friends. I like all of them very much. :)

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