I stumbled upon this on my Saturday morning internet rambly.
You know, it's kind of reassuring. I've never felt I fit in anywhere. I'm a Poser of the Third Kind. I had few friends in school, endured a deal of bullying cuz I was homely and awkward. Now I go to parties and bars and get picked up by hot guys. (and I'm always WTF??) I have lots and lots of writing friends but I can't help but feel wary, as if I'll do something to fuck it all up. I have conversations with muggles but I always feel as if I'm missing something. They don't believe I was ever or am a geek. (Until I open my mouth. Then most of them back away slowly, wondering what the in hell I am.) When I'm with geeks I don't feel qualified to open my mouth at all, though I sometimes do (and cringe later). They're all just so much more deliciously, fabulously geeky than me.
I love SF and Fantasy. I was raised up on LOTR, Narnia, the Society for Creative Anachronism, and Star Wars. I come from a family of muggles who, bless them, took me to see Star
Wars 17 times when I was ten while surely wondering WTF??! behind my back rather
than to my face. They were nice that way; hiding their confusion from me. I made it easy by having little social awareness. Still, there was no one to really relate to regarding
my geeky Loves. No one to push new stuff on me. So I was a mainstreamed geek. Sigh.
Geeking for me kind of ended once I hit college. I tried to fit into muggledom, for a long time, after that, only to realize it pulled me away from my tribe for so long I can never catch up. Besides, my geek tribe makes me happy.
But man, I got no street cred anywhere with anyone.
But apparently, according to Scalzi, I don't need it. :-)