before midnight

I'm having knee surgery tomorrow, so when I'm missing from 9.30 to 1.30 you'll know where I am. I'm going to see if I can bring my phone in and Facebook from there but I bet they won't let me because I could take a picture of them totally fucking up my knee and sue. Please note: if I never get on Facebook again it's cuz something went horribly wrong and Mark Zuckerberg died.

I love you all, just in case.

Or, my doc could do a rocking job and me tweeting it by the minute will be great publicity. Just saying is all.

I'm not nervous, but then, I am on beer 4. Hey, don't judge me, I can't eat or drink anything after midnight. I have to stock up ahead.

It's always super fun when I have surgery cuz my blood pressure always tanks and the nurses freak. When I had Alex I got two nurses hanging out with me all night. It was a lot of pressure. I was kind of tired, but wound up, too, and I really felt like I needed to make conversation. But I'd figured out (within hours; I'm quick on the uptake like that) people hate when you go on and on and on about your kids, especially when all they've done is lay there and breathe and pee so far.

After today (which was all Getting Through My List) I don't mind laying around for a couple of days. It's just the getting upstairs that might be a little awkward. I'll be on crutches. I have crutches that are too short even for me, which is odd, cuz I'm like knee-high to a gnat. My husband bought them and got the shorter ones to save money. Sigh.

 You know how there's a "sickness and in health" vow to the marriage? There ought to be a "I will hold your hair during beer induced vomiting" vow, as well as a "I won't laugh at you when you slide up the stairs on your butt one at a time using your one, good, very tired leg" vow too. AND a "I will buy crutches that fit you" vow. Fo shiz.

Maybe they'll let me bring my iPad into the operating room and I can tell them it's cuz I'm using the Kindle app but I can really stealth Facebook. We'll see. Shall we take bets on whether a nurse or anesthesiologist asks me what I do and I tell them I'm a writer and they tell me about this great idea they have for a book?  The hotel person just did it today when I made a reservation.

**************

In other news, I now have two leather chairs in my office. See Redrum on Tumblr.  (I just realized I have two pics of my writing chair on there. How embarrassing and self-absorbed.)

My husband and kids argued with me about moving the extra chair up because of space considerations (floor space, not the lightspeed variety) and because they hate change and aren't innovative. And yet when hubbins came to talk to me in there...he sat...yes, you guessed it...

!!in the new chair!!

I rest my case. Or my knee. Whatever.