back flap copy

I cleaned this up to post on Erica's blog, so I thought I'd throw it out here and see what y'all think.  The book is called THE SILVER SCAR and the genre is futuristic thriller. I frankly think it's a bit complicated and needs dumbing down. But these are the main elements. So two questions: How would you change it? And does this make you want to read the book?


A Wiccan eco-terrorist and a Christian soldier must stop a crusade in 2065 Boulder, Colorado.

When Trinidad was twelve, his parents blew themselves up in an ecoterr attack that killed several Christians. To make amends for his family's crime, he left Wicca--and his best friend Castile--to soldier for a church under siege.  Fostered by a loving priest and trained by a godless warrior, he learned the brutal art of balancing faith and war. Trinidad is dedicated and faithful, the perfect archwarden. But when his Bishop turns up with a silver scar she claims is an angelic order to crusade, Castile shows Trinidad the scar actually came from healing sand in an ancient holy graveyard--a place that could turn Christianity on its head.

Not only are the pagans sorely outnumbered in a war founded in a lie, the Christian army has the ultimate secret weapon: it can heal itself at will. Torn between his past, his faith, and his vows to defend the innocent, Trinidad covertly bands with a violent Vodou tribe and Castile, who carries his own burden of guilt, to subvert the Bishop's efforts. But protecting the Church is not all that drives her. She's also bent on vengeance against the Wiccan ecoterr who murdered her family. Trinidad must shed all he believes and loves to protect the people from a woman who would kill thousands to see Castile dead.

2 comments:

Todd Bradley said...

Here's an interesting perspective from a friend of ours. Funny she chose this topic the same week you did.

http://sybilbaker.blogspot.com/2010/07/beware-of-blurbs.html

sex scenes at starbucks, said...

It's not quite the same topic. Hers is about getting blurbs from other authors. Mine is about flap copy/queries. But both are needed!