Back in the day, I found I started a lot of stories without finishing them. I'd get an idea, I had lots of ideas, but it took me years to realize what a solid idea is supposed to look like. For me it has to do more with plot than character. I can come up with an army of fake people within a few hours. I wrote a series (unsold) with a cast of 125 named characters. With, like, histories and backstories and family ties to each other. It's a big tangled, glorious web that taught me a lot about characters.
What I didn't really have was what my protag wanted, deep in his heart. Unfortunately, it's taken me damn near close to a million words to figure that out. (I'm a bit dim.) He wants some things, sure, but what does he want beyond all else? What am I, his goddess, supposed to keep from him? I still don't know. When I do, I'll have a damn good story. Aidan has a new voice and it's probably some of the best stuff I've written. But it has no direction yet, just a storyboard with some stickies.
He wants the world to be crisp, black and white, instead of cast in shades of glittering, silvery grey.
But that's not the world, is it? So, ultimately, he's not going to get what he wants. I've known that from the start. SCAR was always meant to be a bitter pill to swallow, especially for Trinidad, especially for me. (Because one of my most personal frustrations are shades of grey. Not for me, but how others rarely see them. Trinidad is not me. He is Everyone Else.)
What scares you about your story? Anything? Or am I the only one who thinks of story this way?