this one's about the kids

You know how you go along for days just bored and nothings happening my life sucks gahh why can't I be famous or at least live in interesting times?! and then suddenly stuff happens.

I took the kids to their annual photos. I made them wear the adorablest matching blue and white Mexican style sweatshirts, and jeans and barefoot and they were too cute. Oldest especially was mortified and to get them to wear that I had to bribe them with also getting shots wearing whatever they wanted. Oldest chose his Green Day t-shirt, plucked from the laundry no less, and youngest wore her new skating pads which makes her look a little dorky, especially since the knee pads pull her jeans up and show her socks, and ohbytheway, you don't wear pads with jeans. Oh and we had to run back to shoes at [store name redacted due to lack of advertising dollars] and get her new shoes because her feet don't grow so all her shoes are ancient and dirty.

You might be realizing by now I'm not the type of mom to get my kids' outfits all cleaned and ready for their photos, since not only was the t-shirt from the dirty laundry, poor oldest also had to wear wet jeans. Hey, they were actually clean, though.  Kind of. The kids I mean.

And I had to make Oldest cry to get him to stop bitching before we left. If you've ever seen his vids, you know Oldest has ginormous eyes and they actually squirt tears.  Into my face, since he's nearly my height.

I didn't have great hopes for a successful session.

Okay so we get there and the photographer gets them to say stuff like "my brother smells like poop" and "sisters fart" and before long they're positively making love to the camera, which Oldest now knows the meaning of, being as he's wrapping up his unit on Human Growth and Reproduction. All we needed was a fan, a makeup artist, and Lady Gaga playing in the background and it would have been like living the dream, man.

Keep in mind these are kids who do not smile for snapshots. 

He's leaping in the air with his drumsticks, long hair swinging, and she's stylin' on her skateboard in front of a brick wall background, looking all urban and shit. There's ones of them back to back, arms crossed. One of them with him in the background leaning against the brick wall, her tricksin' on her skateboard in the foreground.  Fun stuff.

I tell you what, Oldest will need to be on the cover of his band's albums someday. Those big grey eyes will sell a million copies.