We had to ask the googles about Hob-knocker the other day. (thank you iCarly) As soon as I saw the link for Urban Dictionary, I knew I was in for it... My son thought it was freakin' hilarious. And that anyone who would do that is a turd.
Still. Clearly a wall has been broached.
With your kid knowing about sex and stuff ...well, sex and stuff does come up.
"You SMOKED, mom?"
Now, I'm a good liar but I really don't believe in lying to my kids. There are things I won't say, but I won't lie to them. Like if the kid who Knows asked me about my sex life, I reserve the right to tell him I'm not going to answer on the grounds that it will incriminate the innocent (like his father. Or the many nameless one-night stands when I was sewing my oats). But I won't LIE. See the difference?
So when I got the "You SMOKED, Mom?" question, I told him, yeah, I smoked and I had my first cig at 13 and smoked a lot in HS and college. He wanted to know if I liked it and I told him, Yes, I did very much. He wanted to know how I quit; I was damned lucky cuz I never got addicted. Fortunately he didn't ask if I never smoke anymore. Generally the answer would have been no, but still, that one might've stumped me. Anyway, I think it was a good thing.
Or, I just gave him permission to smoke. I'm really not sure.
And drugs came up the other day, too, in the context of my not wanting him to hang out at Safeway because sometimes drug deals go on down there and I don't want him around that stuff. As well as the Other Things that happen. (To my credit, I didn't actually use the term "dumpster blowjobs" but I was thinking it.) At 11, he's thinking more about candy and Starbucks, and that hanging out at Safeway sounds boring as all hell, and besides, I've heard all the good stuff goes on behind the store anyway. So if he ran down there on his bike with a buddy, I don't think I'd care. But I wouldn't want him gone for hours. And I don't think it will be a problem. Yet.
I do know parents who tell their kids they can't go down to Safeway because it's stupid or boring or they shouldn't just be hanging out like delinquents or why can't you find something to DO with your little friends or whatever. What they don't say is the Truth. And I have this sort of thing with using the Truth as a parenting tool.
Also, I just have this inexplicably independent kid who has always swam at the opposite end of the pool from not just me but everybody. So what do I tell him at 11? I tell him he can get on his bike and go wherever he wants as long as he takes his phone and tells me where he is. Hell. I mean, what else am I going to say? That's not rhetorical. I mean, I'm really asking...
And another funny thing. Some kid was bragging to him that he gets to go hang out at the mall. Well, I know for a fact this kid isn't allowed to do that, but that's not the funny part. My kid? He was so not impressed. Why would anyone want to hang out at the stupid mall?
Nobody said this parenting gig was going to be easy. But seriously. Sometimes I think people make it damned hard on themselves.