I have new comments. I guess they were gifted to me by haloscan or something. Not sure. They kind of rock, but they don't report that there are comments on the blog. No, you're probably not firsties! So go ahead and talk to me baby. Talk dirty.
This blog is rapidly becoming like my office closet. I have a walk-in closet in my office and it is FULL. And I just keep shutting the door because I'm too busy.
I'll clean up the blog eventually, but right now I'm figuring out the big questions, the WHYS of my book, and it's consuming a lot of time. I now know what the Barren is (shhh, secret, but it amounts to a new holy land). After extensive research, I realize I'm trying to figure out the Crusades within the context of their time and rectify crusade within the context of 2065 Boulder. I think it's possible that people cling to their faith and beliefs to extreme, even today (Tea Party, anyone? Not to mention how gay marriage affects MY marriage. That one I'll save for another day).
I'm trying to figure out how faith -- not religion, but FAITH -- can drive a wedge between people when it's meant to do the very opposite thing. This I've known for awhile, but as I researched the Crusades again (a new historical book coming in the mail, yay!!) I realized I don't understand why Jerusalem drives men to violence.
True, I've not been there. But I've been doing a lot of imaginary damage to myself, imagining my church blown up, set fire, imagining the peace I feel there, gone. Forever. Still not there. It's the people, for me. Don't get me wrong. I love my old church and I'm extremely affected by my surroundings. But I feel a certain peace with the priests that I don't achieve with other people.
Deeper research led to an interesting historical justification of some of the scenes and motivations in KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. When he's trying to make terms with Saladin, Balian threatens to take Jerusalem apart, stone by stone, that every one of his knights that die will take ten Saracens with him, and that he will break Sadadin's army here, never to raise another, "I swear to God." That is based in fact, and not too loosely. The real Balian went to Jerusalem to retrieve his wife, unarmed. He had negotiated passage for 24 hours and then stayed. He's not quite the hero the film portrays him to be, and yet, he may be more of one. What motivated a man, who had safe passage out for his family members, to stay and face almost certain death? What drove him to go back on his agreement with Saladin and take on saving the city? He did make those threats, btw, and Saladin must have believed his fervor, for he did offer terms, generous for the day and historical context.
Which leads me deeper. What drove Saladin to refrain from destroying every Christian within the walls, when he had the city surrounded with his army? This is not to say the Muslims were entirely compassionate - people had to buy their freedom from slavery. But it hardly compares to when the Christians first took the City and men rode "bridle-deep" in blood.
That's what I'm trying to get at, mostly the acts people commit under the mantle of faith. These weren't madmen. They traveled and died enroute to Crusade. They were not second sons. Many were landed and wealthy. Faith drove these people into a mad cause. And I'm trying to figure out why and apply what I learn to SCAR.
And it's driving me a bit mad, if you've not caught on. I wonder if a bit of madness might just lead to greatness. I sure as hell hope so.
What's the WHY of your story? What are you trying to figure out by writing it? Where is your exploration leading you and is it driving you mad?