You ever read some writing that makes you scratch your head? Something's wrong, something's missing, and you're not sure what? It's tough to see what's not there, but I'm figuring out what it is. Except I'm never sure how to express it without pushing too close to the writer. A lot of writers use their writing as a wall between them and the world, and it's important to respect that.
I happen to use my writing as a wall between me and what makes my soul bleed.
I took a personality test and came up as an ISFP, which is a pretty small part of the general population, as well as the artist population. Two descriptions that struck me:
Composers are ... very difficult to observe and thus greatly misunderstood. Very likely the difficulty comes from their tendency not to express themselves verbally, but through their works of art.
and also this:
Organized education is difficult for the majority of ISFPs, and many drop out before finishing secondary education. Their interest can be held better through experiential learning, at which many excel. ISFPs will practice playing an instrument or honing a favored skill for hours on end, not so much as practice as for the joy of the experience.
Yup. All me.
But don't feel bad, if you misunderstand me, it's because I want it that way. The 60/40 truth split is real, and it's on purpose.
Old habits run deep. What I've mined personally for SCAR is mostly disguised as other things. I don't know how much I'm actually revealing to readers because of that, but I hope it touches other people. Rest assured, I'm having to tap into all kinds of ugliness for this book. Disappointment. Hurts that don't just go away. Scabbed over stab wounds.
And that's why I have some hope it might be a better than good book.