Two States, Vermont and Iowa, are taking steps to legalize gay marriage. I hardly dare to start cheering for fear some God of Heterosexual Retribution comes down on my head. Ah, fuck it.


The best idea I've seen lately regarding marriage in general is that the government should get out of that business altogether. When I think of my marriage, lo these almost - gulp - 18 years, I think of it as an act sanctified by God. It has nothing to do with wills or who owns what. It makes my husband and I as close, spiritually, to one person as is possible in this incarnation. (That nasty sum of the parts bit rears its ugly head again.) My church marries anyone who wants to get married in the church--to make themselves into more than a partnership before God.

But the things we do legally--the things we own, the motorcycles and snowmobiles (sigh), the trips we take, who gets all my books when I die--God could give a crap about that stuff. That feels more like the domain of the State. We have a legally binding partnership that a judge would be hard-pressed to put asunder. It's not spiritual or emotional. It's legal.

Everybody should be able to enter into a legal partnership with whoever they want. And then all those same bodies should be able to go find a church or a mountaintop or a wood glen to go swear their intent before their gods--or not, if they don't wanna. That bit would be up to them.

Either that, or the States could just pull their heads out of their asses, butt the fuck out, and let anyone marry whoever they damn well please.

I do wonder sometimes what the polygamists think of all that. Does gay marriage (marrying anyone you want) open the door to polygamy? And are there polygamists in which one woman marries many men?

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