ffft

OMG, is this for real? Apparently. And while the British have a knack for making people look dumb (it's the accent, you know) this is like shooting fish in a teacup. I mean, President Bush says ",like," for crissakes.

"LIKE. "

As in: The only way a radical can recruit is to find somebody who's hopeless. I mean, their vision is, like, really dark and dim.

OR:

Polls are nothing more than just, like, a puff of air.

On Darfur: (maybe someone smarter than me can get the gist of this and explain it back to me and the President)

Yeah. You know, I had to make a seminal decision. And that is whether or not I would commit US troops into Darfur. And I was pretty well backed off of it by - you know, a lot of folks - here in America that care deeply about the issue. And so, once you make that decision, then you have to rely upon an international organisation like the United Nations to provide the oomph - necessary manpower... You know, I read - did call it (SOUND GLITCH) genocide, and I think we're the only nation that has done so.

Seminal must have been the Word of the Day at http://www.vocabulary.com/. Incidently, the first definition has something to do with semen, which, granted, has to do with the future, but, well, ick. Icky word, Mr. Bush. But at least it's a real word.

On the Olympics: (by the way, so you know this blogger's bias, I think holding them in China is a travesty on a hundred different levels):

There's a lot of issues that I suspect people are gonna, you know, opine, about during the Olympics. I mean, you got the Dali Lama crowd...

Wait. I must stop here and reiterate that our President, the President of the United States of America, just said, out loud and and around people with pens and recording equipment and stuff: I mean, you got the Dali Lama crowd.

Sorry. This is like a Shock-and-Awe on my brain. Back to the President.

...You've got global warming folks...

My apologies for stopping again. Just for clarification here...Sorry, Mr President? Global warming folks? Like we're the fucking Hatfields and McCoys, just cuz we'd like our kids to someday live in a world with islands and with air that, you know, people can, like, breathe?

...You've got, you know, Darfur and... I am not gonna you know, go and use the Olympics as an opportunity to express my opinions to the Chinese people in a public way 'cause I do it all the time with the president. I mean. So, people are gonna be able to choose - pick and choose how they view the Olympics.

I might point out that Mr. Bush had seconds ago bragged that he had access to President Hu Jintao and that he does remind him to do more in Darfur. (And Stephen Spielberg doesn't, so na-na-na.)

On torture and waterboarding:

So, we're not having a debate not only how you interrogate people. We're having a debate in America on whether or not we ought to be listening'to terrorists making phone calls in the United States. And the answer is darn right we ought to be.

I'm pretty darn sure we're talking about both issues, Mr. President. Listening to terrorists is handy when you get them on the line, Mr. President, but how many other phone calls is your governement listening to in the meantime? And if , Mr. President, you're going to make someone think they're drowning, then why not just shoot their kneecaps off and have done with it? Of course, it's hard to gather intel, what with all the screaming...

One time I saw a movie, Frankenstein, that I wasn't supposed to see. My big bro had a girl over and I'm sure he had way better things to do than to make sure his little sister wasn't emotionally scarred for life. Anyway, the previous owner of Frankenstein's arm got said arm cut off, with all the appropriate sawing sounds and screams and businesslike tones of the doctors: "Shame, such a perfectly good arm. Too bad it's going to waste." While Dr. Frankenstein looks all pensive and sort of pleased, you know.

Shame, such a perfectly good country. Too bad it's going to waste.