cack and joke

I suppose I shouldn't be blogging half-drunk on a Wednesday night, but there you are. That's just me. Jush fuggin go 'way ifh you don lik id.

It snowed today.

So what? you say. Big deal. You live in Colorado. Go whine on some other blog.

Let me rephrase. We had a fucking blizzard, ***of the sort your parents had to walk to-and-from school in, barefoot, for a mile uphill both ways. Holy crap. It dumped four inches in an hour. It took the husband two hours to drive seven miles. Like, one minute, I'm mucking about the Internet with my kids, trying to make avatars for all of us (there's a brilliant timewaster, if you're looking for one) (well, ok, maybe we bonded a bit by the cold glow of the monitor) and the dog is barking to come in and I look at her, saying "Damn it, Hannah, just a minute, you're a dog and it's not that col..." to find she's a white** dog now, with ice between her pads, numb ears, and a snowpacked beer-opener, which, of course, was the real tragedy of the whole thing.

There was no snow and then POOF! Break out the Big Bob's Snowtubes*, available for a low-low price at a Walmart near you.

Hmm. What now?

I feel bad cuz I haven't been entertaining y'all enough. I know...I know. It's just this deadline is stressing me out, I can't find cool brown boots to save my life, K-State**just beat Kansas**, I didn't get into the party hotel at WorldCon**, and one of my authors waited like two whole days to get back to me...But he did, so I'm better now.

Still no boots though.**

I tried to enter Nathan's** first page contest, but I never could find it again so I'm thinking I actually screwed it up somehow and didn't enter. It's already been on here, so I won't reprint, but it's damned good first page. I'm proud of the thing.

Speaking of, how about all the critting scandal going on? Scandalous, isn't it? You know, I can see the authors' point about being offended. No, they didn't put them out there for critique. No, they didn't ask for it. Yes, writers should grow a spine and deal. Writers could even--and this is a radical** thought--but they could not read the critiques.

But that's just crazy talk, ain't it.

My biggest thing is, really, who do these critters think they are, anyway? What qualifications do they have? None, really. They are just Guys On The Internet. Except for Goblin, who I personally know to be a careful and fine critter, and a girl, besides. But the rest of the crits I've read all seem to be personal opinion, not actual critique. And if you don't know the difference, then you should keep it to yourself.

*Really, don't waste your time with imitation brands from Taiwan. Buy hometown China-made.

**I'm color blind except when I'm drunk. Preeeettty colors.

*** run your curser over it. It's like invisible ink, only without the ink. And the lemon. And the sugar. Oh, wait, that's lemonaid.