it's watching you

The full moon woke me up. It's one of those close ones, hanging in the sky like a knobby glow-pearl. At any moment it will start growing as it zooms toward the earth. (Cool story idea alert.) The sky outside my door is so black that all I see is this giant white eye watching me. Damned moon. Go away and find something better to do on the other side of the world.

I'm furiously busy. I've had meetings/social engagements every night for over a week, and while I'm having fun, I get so worn I can't sleep. Anxiety weighs on me with my revision and it's all I want to do. Some people avoid writing when it's hard; for me writing begets writing so I compulsively plug along, even when I'm not making much progress. I am making progress, though. Right now I'm worrying over maintaining quality throughout. Much of this book was choreography in the beginning so I'm switching it to more internal dialogue and charactization though action. Lots of work. My crit group threw me some good stuff, too.

I'm at a point where I want success. I've admitted to myself that I want to go big--I want this book in particular to do well. I love my other books, but this one could launch something. It's different than what's out there. I'm resisting dumbing it down too much. I've taken some advice to heart: getting the protags more active and in charge, which meant blowing big secrets early. I made changes to up the pace to accomodate today's shorter attention spans. I think the POVs have come a long way. That's all good. I know it's a grand idea and all that, but can I write well enough to pull it off? I'm drafting more competently, but still...I'm in those final 50 pages doldrums. Or perhaps it's the three rejections I've gotten in the past two weeks. (Any pep talks would be appreciated.)

Good meeting for the screenplay last night. It's in short story form now, and all in one POV, but I'll start changing it over soon. Some of the location problems I worried over aren't, well, my problem. But I piqued interest with the futuristic props, so that's all good. We're realizing how difficult a time-travel movie can be when it comes to scouting location, what with thirty-year time differences in the plot. But I realized that doing the 48 Hour Film Project taught me more than I realized. I've got a lot more to learn, but considering that I've never, well, considered how films were made, I've come a long way.

Aaaand this weekend is Mile Hi Con. Should see friends down there--it's a good chance to catch up and gawk at all the Klingons. I thought they had agents and editors at this thing, but I havn't found anything on the website. Most importantly, what the hell am I going to wear??

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