I have periodic bouts with sleeping, but mostly I lay awake from 3:30ish am until the sun is good and up about 4:45am. What do I do while I'm not sleeping? I watch the husband sleep. I listen to the dog dream. I worry, shifting between frantic nonsense and the legitimate variety. I roll around and try to find a position in which my arm does not go numb. Yeah, I stopped therapy a month ago or more and it's not sticking. I need to go back. I work on stories in my head. I think about all the shit-for-food I ate the previous day.

But mostly, I just lay there, staring at the light coming in the window, wondering why the rest of the world gets to sleep and I do not.

later: I crashed from 7:30-10 so now I'm at least semi-conscious.

Crashed is a tame word. I was in a friggin' coma.

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