I finally slipped in over at the Espec blog and wrote a post. I had to call dibs cuz Dave is a new blogger and VERY excited about it. Kinda reminds me of the old days on the internet, back when I used to find blogs to trash and write about my sexual excapades in my jeep.
Yeah, you're goin' right for the archives now, aren't ya?
Now I write about stuff like my dog HannahBanana, who is trying to become a canine Houdini and a trained guard dog all in one go. For those of you who haven't been around the past year (we know who you are and we're coming to get you) I procured HannahMontana at the local Humane Society, which, since it's in Boulder, is nicer than the homeless shelter.
Hell, I don't even know if Boulder has a homeless shelter. Surely they do. We got the customer base, that's for sure.
Anyway, HanCan was a mellow dog on account of her having a bad hip. She barely used the leg but they assured us surgery would fix her and it would be like having a brand new dog.
Was it ever! She went from a dog who was scared of threshholds and tile floors to a dog who goes down the basement steps to pee (having crossed three whole different sorts of flooring types on her journey from her food bowl) and bolts across the street after squirrels. "No holds bar, fuck that car (even though I've been hit by one before!) it's a FREAKIN SQUIRREL!!" She even wants to go on walks now and shit.
I mean, when we brought her home I had to hand-feed her kibble and now she just helps herself to the trash.
She can jump into the back of my kick-ass, rockin' red Jeep, and does, daily. She rides everywhere with me, though she's still not as steady as she could be and slams into the back window nearly every time I take off from a stop light. Well, hell, it's not my fault that my Jeep's got decent pick-up. No, not the supercharger. Yet.
She'd make a great drug dog. I mean, if you have coke or weed hidden in your crotch, that dog would so find it.
Every so often we have to have a "whose boss" talk. PHF sits us down and tells us that he makes the money and so he's boss, and I explain that I'm the mother so I'm the boss, and Hannah goes and takes a nap and farts in our general direction.
Man does that dog got gas.
* title used by permission of Younger Daughter, otherwise known as the "Household Treat Procurement Officer."