.....gym update....

Greg wrote about the gym, and I need a topic so I thought I'd steal his. He won't care. We share everything.

Haven't been getting there as much lately, but when I do go there are some bodies missing. Haven't seen Tricep Guy. Well, he might just be late. Not like he can tell time or anything, without digital. I'm pretty sure he knows most of his numbers.

Speaking of triceps, I have a bruise on mine. Like, huge. And I don't remember getting it. I know, I know, I probably ran into a wall or something when I was yelling at the Monsters (who I am now calling Max and Elloise, and if you don't get it then you had a sad, sad childhood) but I like to think it's from doing too many pushups. I'll go with that, unless someone confesses to having beat me recently.

Old Creepy Leering Guy is oudadere. Probably died or something.

Gone, too, is Big Scary Guy. So sad, cuz I was going to use him for promotion of my new book since Sean is based on him. How cool would it be to have Sean at signings? He's probably out on a deep black mission or something, slitting throats of foreign despots. I do miss him watching me watch him out of the corner of his eye as he thought of fifteen ways from Sunday he could kill me. So fucking cut, that one.

Now we have Big Bleached Boy. I amused myself by walking between him and the mirror several times, which meant I had to get a lot of drinks because the me-sized dumbells are between the 20 pounders and the drinking fountain. He is a different kind of big than BSG; BBB's just immense. He's 2 1/2 or 3 of me. He takes up way too much of his fair share of space. Can't decide if he's dumb or smart. His head does look little, but since it's riding on that huge body it's hard to judge.

He tried to scam me, but big guys make me nervous. Like, he might think it was funny to pick me up and set me on a high shelf, and then where would I be? On a high shelf, that's where.

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