cheap ass= ass chap

Jake and Pete and others, who shall remain nameless because I'm not sure who all lives with them, are having a tp issue. (Look at my blogroll for links, they're on there, I'm uber-lazy for GDFHTML tonight.) They made some Bad Calamari (I feel sorry for them, but the calamari isn't my fault. Triple-Ick.) and now they are feelin' the pain. To add insult to injury, they bought the Sam's Club Special or some such (maybe from the same place they bought the calamari?) and this bargain sandpaper is rubbing them raw. Poor boys.

We go for the Charmin at our house. I used to buy one called Softell or Softex or something like that, but I haven't found that for a long time. It rocked, though. It was like wiping with flushable silk.

(Editor's note: The author is NOT purporting that silk is flushable, or that it is not. She makes no such claim. Just call off your dogs, International Silkworm Industry.)

And no, Greg, I haven't broken the contractural terms of our friendship by talking about me shitting cuz I'm a girl and apparently I don't do that. The tp is for the fun end of my spectrum, because I think we agreed (I was drunk, but this is how I recall it) that I do do number one. (Heh, I said do-do.)

Anyway, what do y'all use?

(Author's note: Have any other of you average-of-80 people who stop by daily noticed how my friends Jake and Pete started leaving me comments as soon as they started blogging again after taking a summertime hiatus? Just sayin', is all.)

Two other notes of interest:

1. My doggie is the best doggie in the whole world and she has her hip surgery next Tuesday so say a little doggie prayer, if you think of it.

2. I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails and you're not. Special thanks to my friend BB who casually mentioned that I still owe him money for the NIN tix in a room full of cute, strange men at a party, thereby making me look very cool indeed. Kudos, BB, and the check is in the mail.

(Ok, it's not. I'm seeing him this weekend so I'll just give it to him then. But it read good.)

3. I'm, like you, devestated over the tremendous losses in New Orleans and the surrounding areas. Hey, at least we have tp, and like, water pressure to flush with.

Let's take a moment or two.

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But... has anybody else wondered what happened to all those beads? Do they float or sink or what? I might have to do a science project in my bathtub.

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