better watch out, you might actually like it...

Krypto and Greg set me off on this rant. I'm so goddamn tired of gay-haters. These are the same guys who go to strip joints and watch chics "get off" on each other, their teensy little penii barely making a pup tent in their business-casual Dockers.

Hey, maybe I just hit on it. It's the "Comparison Factor". We were talking about this last night, about gay-guy porn, and my girlfriend (not gf, so don't get your knickers in a twist) said she likes it cuz it doesn't inspire any performance anxiety. Heh. In light of my recent strip club experience, I think I'd best get to the gay-porn store and rent me some.

This takes us back to that age old life question: why is chic-on-chic all good when guy-on-guy isn't? First of all, two girls can sometimes be hot, but when I see 'em holding hands on the street it doesn't do much for me. (About as much as seeing a straight couple holding hands. What are you? In eighth grade?) But at a concert last year these two guys sitting in front of us were kissing each other more and more as the evening and the doobage progressed. I personally thought it was smokin' hot, as were they. If I were a playboy bunny my turn-ons would be: Music with a Celtic influence, emotionally strong women, swimmer-twins, and cute gay boys kissing.

But the main reason is that the female body is attractive, even with some poundage on, and most men tend to let themselves, er, go. Even the ones who keep themselves up have their issues. Let's take the Twins, for example. They are oh-so-hot in their little racer suits that don't even reach the tops of their hip bones, and the way the pale, perfect skin on their narrow, young stomachs curves in from their hips and ripples its way up to their broad, perfectly defined chests...

ahem. Anyway, take off the racer suit and you got yourself some ugly guy-thighs and a wee dangly. Not so attractive. That area, betwixt the hips and the knee, is just meant to be covered on a guy. I know you guys have a certain fondness for your little "mini-me", and yeah, shaving helps, but still not enough to show it the light of day.

I'd say gay men might just be the most manly-men among us. I mean, it takes some gumption and self-confidence to get fucked by a guy who's got a bigger cock than you. I sure as hell don't want a female partner with bigger boobs than mine (which narrows the field of availability considerably). Besides, sex is sex is sex, and let's face it, it's all pretty damn disgusting.