what's in a name?

I'm thinking of a solution to a problem. Well, to clarify, I've come up with the problem, but not the solution. I started worrying over it when Greg noticed I called him Gregory. I was writing a rather mundane comment in response whilst thinking:

See, the problem with "Greg" is I don't tend to want to scream it out during sex. "Gregory..." works for slow sex. Yeah, he does that pretty well. Only he's not for slow sex all the time. What to call him when he's really goin' at it? Hmm. I must think up a solution to this problem. Not everyone can be named jackJackJACK!, but everyone deserves a good sex name.

Parents should be thinking of this when they name thier kids. My kids actually made out pretty well, but PHF's and my parents OBVIOUSLY didn't have fucking in mind when they named us. Especially with my name. Sheesh. It SUCKS for that. Of course, PHF has come up with an alternative for me. He's such a good, kind, wonderful man.

I think it should be law actually. I bet we could get it buried in a huge war finance bill or the social security revamp. Or, I know, maybe it could be like a tribal name, your secret name that only your lover gets to learn. Knowing your true name is supposed to give someone power over you. So knowing your sex name could give that person the power to make you cum. So instead of saying "She's such a slut," we could say, "Everybody knows her name." Like Lunatic. Quite a few chics know his name.

This name issue gets me to thinking. I didn't take to "Sex" right off. Actually I kinda hated it. Can't recall who it was, Greg or Jack, who started it. Greg, I'd venture to say. But I was all, "No, that's not ... I mean... that's not who I am." I even tried to start another name, but Sex persisted.

Somebody asked me a couple of weeks ago if I liked it. I shrugged. It's my name. I like it ok now.

I haven't been called "Sex" by anybody in person, but PHF loves to tell people at parties that my online name is Sex. I'm going out tomorrow night. If someone asks me what my name is, I'm gonna say, all low and shit:


And lick my lips.

Heh. Dare me?


That Girl said...

Haha! DARE you (because I know you will). I picked "that girl" for obvious reasons, but I sure don't want to hear it in bed! My real name isn't so bad for it, just not hearing it lately!

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I can see it now, you are asked your name by a guy, you look at him with a devilish smile, a slightly tucked in chin, mischievous eyes and say “Sex,’ then you seductively lick your lips; the man goes to the rest room to clean himself up.

My Nick “Ole Blue” was given because I was always told, am like an old hound dog, big sad eyes, very loyal, and I hate being fucked with when I am eating. My first Rhett has everyone asking me if I give a damn.

But names are important which everway you look at it.

Jack said...

I call you "Sex" because "Sex Scenes At Starbucks" is too much to say, and doesn't roll of the tounge like a one-syllable monicer. And I'm sure as hell not about to shorten it to "Starbucks".

And it turns me on like you wouldn't believe.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Likewise, Jack.

Greg said...

So instead of saying "She's such a slut," we could say, "Everybody knows her name."

Ahaha that shit had me laughing out loud.

Don't worry about my sex name, its already taken care of, the ladies call me Daddy. Okay just playing. If for some reason I didn't know my own name, I'd think it was, "don't stop" or "awwwwwww fuuuuuck".

Hi what's your name?

"awwwww fuuuuuck", and I'd even add the proper inflections.

That Girl said...

So can I call you "A.F." for short?

jake said...

ooh. say it to me! i like that shit. but i think it would sound a little funny to scream sex while...yeah that's no good.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

how about mo' mo' mo'?

Amber Lynn said...

You wanna go where everyone knows your name?

Actually, you have a bitchin' online name- Sex Star. You sound like a porn star! How's the sex hair coming along?

sex scenes at starbucks said...

The fuckme hair is 1/8th of an inch longer since the last time I mentioned it...


Linds said...

I SO dare you to introduce yourself that way.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I got better than that. See the next post.

Lunatic said...

See, I am just trying to introduce myself... to every girl I meet.

I don't hear my name much and I wonder sometimes if it's because they've forgotten it. I do get a lot of "Oh, my god"'s but I don't think they are talking to me.