Inland, Dreaming writes: Now I have questions for you! I love this shit. Give me a topic and I'll roll, but not even dumbgasm is up to anything and I'm just goin' like crazy on the fiction so the blog is being neglected.
Why do you care what Martha thinks of your ass?
I'm insecure about my ass, and everyone knows she's the doyene of aesthetics. She likes my ass, so, to my reasoning, it's a nice ass.
If you could go to the land of the elves, what would you find there?
Lots of strapping young elven warriors having magical sex which sometimes leaves you an animal that you weren't before! At least, that's what I've found in the books I've read.
What can you not forgive? (no fair saying "stupid questions," either)
Not a stupid question at all. It's very telling, actually. That's why I asked it!
I'm the forgive and forget type. Holding a grudge just takes too much energy and time. I'm more likely to forget the person rather than hold a grudge. I do have a couple of weaknesses that stem from my past and if someone touches on that, I tend to not be able to forgive.
Ok, lame. I think my forgiving nature comes from the fact that I'm so obviously imperfect. Take this blog; hell, my whole online life. Shit, I'd never tolerate the same sort of philandering and flirting from PHF, but he just goes along with it. I think I could even forgive him an indiscretion (not a license, here, dear!) because I think it could so be me in those shoes. Ok, that came out wrong. Actually, I don't see myself ever sleeping around, but I could, theoretically, forgive myself if I did it. So hence, I could forgive him.
But if forgiveness means trust; then I'm not so forgiving. I'm good at setting boundaries, so it's annoying when people don't catch on. I can forgive someone for the deed, but if you push a really wrong button, mess with something inside that I've not sorted out yet, then you would lose my trust. Forever. The unfair thing is you likely would never know because I wouldn't bother telling you. So far there's only one person who has lost my trust forever, and no, I'm not going to share who it is.
Oh, and you fuck with my kids, you fuck with me. And trust me when I tell you that is not something you want to do.
Sorry, that was nasty. It also is nearly verbatim that something one of my protags said a few days ago. But we had a RL issue earlier today. It's just a goddamn hard thing to tell your six-year-old kid that not everyone is going to like him.
Was there ever a particular moment when you knew PHF was the love of your life? If so, let's hear it. Or do you just conclude this from longevity?
We met up at a party at his fraternity. (Ok, it was cool back then!) Anyway, he was on the verge of break up with a girlfriend, I was on a date with Dak - no, I'm not making that up. Anyway, Dak was a nice guy and everything, but as soon as I saw that cute, fucked-up-drunk guy over on the dance floor I got all scamming and shit. He scammed me back, asked me to slow dance. (Madonna - Crazy For You. Jebus, that just says so much, doesn't it?) I said yes to PHF in front of Dak right after refusing Dak the slow dance (yup, see, I can be a total bitch). To my credit I didn't let him kiss me when he tried. Later, same party, I was in the middle of the best fucking game of pool in my life - PHF walks up, the ball goes all wonky, and boom!
I was in love.
Nah, just kidding ya. Yeah, all that happened but the love part was a little more gradual. I do remember after he called me and we had a study date two days after we met (he played with my hair and told me how hot I was, and that I was useless at calculus and I should quit it right away... man, was he ever smooth). Anyway, I remember going to bed that night and thinking to myself, Self, you've gone and done it this time. I really just wanted to play the field but we had more fun with each other than anyone else so we stuck it out. And longevity, sure. We've known each other since 1986.
I could never play pool after that, though.
What writing ideas have come to you in dreams?
It's not so bad now that I'm in editing; actually it's been awhile since they paid a visit. But during the second book (by far the best shit I've ever written) haunting was the accurate term. I lived, breathed, ate and slept those guys. Wrote that book in four months and it's required the least editing of all of them.
As far as flat-out ideas, they come from drugs or something. Not dreams, I don't think; probably more from characters. And all ideas that flesh out the original concept come purely from the act of writing; mostly dialogue. If I don't know where they're headed, I just sit two characters down and start them to talking, and damned if they don't figure it out for me every time!
In your life, have you been a one best friend kind of woman? Or more of a group of friends person?
Best friend type of person. Definitely. I still have a best friend from college, though we don't talk as much as we should (sorry, I know I owe you that phone call!)
Since I've been married it's weird because I don't really have a best friend. I guess PHF is it; though frankly, we're often too close to each other's issues to hash it out the way a best friend would. As far as groups, I've learned that I really prefer hanging with the guys, though you B's are "aight." You know who you are. I have tons of girlfriends and I know that I could call them to do something any time, or I could call any of them in an emergency. But confiding... truly confiding? I don't know.
I'm basically a shitty, neglectful friend who relies more on convenience than what's right and good in a friendship. It's because I'm reclusive really, unless there's alcohol or kids involved. Right now I think this blog is my best friend. How fucking lame is that??