donation dilemma; do i or don't i?

So these Girl Scouts in the neighborhood are trying to earn the highest service badge by collecting books and magazines for the soldiers in Iraq. They request paperbacks and magazines appropriate for 18-25 year old males.

One issue is that there are girl soldiers in Iraq, right? What do they get to read? But then, they might not like In Style. Ok, I digress. The true dilemma is this:

I suspect that Isles and Cootz and back issues of Car and Driver only go so far in entertainment value for this set. The soldiers would actually really like magazines that aren't, er, appropriate for these girl scouts to even see the cover of. And it is the soldiers who are actually in the need. Wouldn't they be pretty excited to see a Playboy, Hustler, or even a Maxim in the pile?

But then, those girl scouts would see it too...

Do I send an R rated dontation or an X rated donation? Thoughts??

15 comments:

The Neurotic Monkey said...

Hopefully these lyrics from a Partridge will help you see the solution to your pornography problems:

Hey, I think I love you
so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
a love there is no cure for
I think I love you
isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say
I never felt this way

Believe me
you really don't have to worry
I only wanna make you happy
and if you say
"hey go away" I will
But I think better still
I'd better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case
let me ask you to your face
Do you think you love me?


Wise words indeed. I don't know what this has to do with your problem, but I believe it will inevitably help you reach the resolution you seek. Also, you can always just clip some porno and hide it in a copy of "Us Weekly" or Steinback's "Of Mice and Men". Not only will the kids not notice, but that interview with Malcolm Jamal-Warner will seem a whole lot more interesting.

Or just expose yourself to the kids while uttering satanic curses, and then give them some porno. they'll remember the exposing far more than peddling some porn for Uncle Sam.

Then again, I don't know...I'm not a doctor.

Jack said...

Yeah, send porn hidden in something else.

Sex, I love how you always look out for everyone's best interests. Please respond to this statement with some sort of lewd sexual innuendo. Thank you.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Porn will be confiscated and destroyed, remember they are in a country with Islamic culture. Maxim is ok in some regions. They would appreciate any damn thing, even stupid crap like mad or TV guide. Go to a library on a base if you can and look at their selection and go from there.

Females would probably like things like women’s fitness, glamour etc.

But really, you could make your own magazine and they would probably enjoy it.

Anything with nudity tends to be a bad idea.

Greg said...

I think Maxim is your best bet. People might do the trick as well because it has pictures of hot people plus plenty of writing. I get the feeling that those iraqi women just aren't doing it for our boys, maybe its the veils? And also this isn't vietnam. Where's a good taiwanese hooker when you need her?

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Greg,
I know this girl you may be interested in, she just moved in the states and her number is 468 846 6537 or HOT T HOOKER. Tell her Bob McGinty from Swaziland sent you.

Blue

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Ok, I admit to being a little facetious with this post (60/40 rule, remember?) but Blue, that's good advice.


Jack, isn't the idea of soldiers receiving porn from some chick named Sex innuendo enough? Besides, I've been flirting like crazy and I'm gettin' nothin. It's your turn to go down, babe.

That Girl said...

Just send Cosmo. Looks like Glamour on the outside to the girlscouts, gives BJ tips on the inside for the soldier chicks, and they can service the servicemen.

Monkey said...

Blue writes words of wisdom - being former military I know that's the case - many countries do not allow "FILTH" to be sent in their mail - 'specially those Islamic countries

T Kwong said...

Allow me to don my conservative hat for a minute.

It is a sad state of affairs when our brave men and women serving to liberate a country from tyranny cannot enojy the blessed pornographic materials of this country. I, for one, am outraged.

I'm done, now I feel slimy too. I'd say just put them in there, just do what gas stations do and sleeve 'em.

-Thomas

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Monkey -well said. it'll all be 4-wheelin' weekly and bad spy novels.

Heh, I should send 'em MY book. Now that would be a good read for poor soldiers in the field.

Tomkincat- hey, if you're gonna go conservative, you're gonna feel slimy. the two go hand in hand.

Jack - flirt back, please. thank you.

Jack said...

Alright, alright.

Sex, I want to read every bad blog there is so I can build up enough angry energy to make the amount of times you cum from my magic tongue match your hit counter.

And you'd better believe I'll bitch about those blogs as I'm doing it.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Thanks Jack.

Cigarette?

Linds said...

Hah!

Priceless.

I'd say send the porn, or the Maxim's. However, they probably wouldn't get there.

Cosmo might work as a replacement spank bank substitute.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I got an In Style. There's some sexy chics in there.

Shit, you don't expect me to go BUY stuff for them, d'ya? I mean, it's not like they're risking life and limb for my freedom and safety.

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