air hockey v. foosball

I just saw a debate over air hockey and foosball. As debates go, especially between these two, it was mild. They even came to consensus. But, the whole lights-out theory aside, they were wrong. (Besides if the lights out then you can't see the damn game, right? Who would play foosball in the dark?)(Ok, geeks would, but more on that later.)

No contest, hands down, air hockey is a clear winner. Air hockey is a one-on-one match, frantically, fervishly fast, best played in the thick of drunk with no-holds-bar cursing when you're scored upon. Air hockey tables are only found in bars, where those types of games belong, because they're big and heavy and expensive. Rightfully so. Bar games belong in bars.

On a hot day, the breeze is nice too.

I hate foosball. It sucks. You never get to swing the right way; especially if you're some loser chick you always end up going backwards. And they give you that look when you let the ball pass. It's not fun. You also can't have sex on a foosball table. Well, not decent sex.

Most guys love it. But then, they're team players. Wouldn't want to stand on your own for a few minutes, watching for that devilish puck to wing your way, and learn the hard way to keep your fingers off the damn rail! Nah, got to have a buddy or coworker to blame when the game goes south.

Computer geeks love foosball because they think it makes them cool (it doesn't, but shhh). Nearly every one of PHF's jobs has had a table, or two, and these weren't lopsided, sticky-handled contraptions that were missing several key players like a goalie. No, these were bought special for the purpose, carefully selected; people took fucking pay-cuts to purchase the best ones; and they were housed in "clean-rooms" with booties for your feet and magnetic neutralization air locks and chemical showers. PHF misses foosball at the office, because his office is in the basement, and foosball only goes with "Early-Dorm Decor", which our basement most definitely is NOT.

In my experience, geeks play foosball:
a. when they are stumped. This apparently happens a lot.
b. when the system crashes. This apparently happens a lot.
c. when they want to fuck around. This, too, apparently happens a lot.

When not blogging, geeks play a lot of foosball.

I bet the Blogger offices have a foosball table or two, reckon?


Ole Blue The Heretic said...

This is what I have seen in every bar that I have been to no matter where.

The cool people play pool
The geeks play foos ball
The yuppies or "cool" geeks play air hockey
The rebels and/or anti socials sit at the bar and drink
the group of women wearing the tiara’s from the bachelorette party, with name tags like, slut and whore, are all smashed and too drunk to make much sense much less dance, which they do even though they are falling on the floor while dancing.
The bartender is looking at me with that, what a F’n night look on her face, as I finish my second Vodka Martini and ask for a German stout to take the edge off.
Blues plays in the background.

T Kwong said...

Fuck, no, foosball is still king and it isn't just for geeks, it's also for dorks, and nerds of all forms (music, literary). Hipster geeks play a lot of foosball, at least in my neck of the woods.

As for the power out: the power doesn't always go out at night and even if it does, don't you usually have a light source anyway? Bam, sucka.


sex scenes at starbucks said...

I suck at pool.
Foosball is boring.
Some people might call me a yuppie, but not to my face because I'd have to kick their ass.
Rebels - yeah, that's where fit in. I'm mostly at the bar drinkin'.
Bachelorette parties are a blast, don't knock it till you've tried it.
No blues for me, but I'm not getting into music again.

Have a good weekend Blue!

Guys who play foosball just want the feel of a stiffy in their hands, only they're too shy to whip theirs out in the bar.

You have a good weekend too!

Jack said...

Foosball has far less potential to fuck up on you. Almost every air hockey table I've played on in the past 5 years has had some malfunction, often to the extent of losing ability to play. And in air hockey you can't put things in the goal area in order to keep the disc from going in. This has saved me many'a quarter in foosball.

On top of all this, sucking at something does not make it bad. It makes you bad.

Monkey said...

"..You also can't have sex on a foosball table. Well, not decent sex."You had me laughing with the above classic line! :-)

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Jack - :(

Come play at the dark horse - the hockey table never fails and the foosball table is a piece of shit.

Monkey -
I'll try it on both and get back to you.

Greg said...

foosball is aiiight. But i've never been a fan of soccer, especially when it comes to a bunch of plastic twirly people playing it.