procrastination, oops, sorry, masterbation is the spice of life

I abhorr writing bills. I hate adding up the reciepts. I hate working on the budget. I hate writing checks - I get this annoyed feeling that stretches through my torso like a stomach cramp. If I write too many checks in a row bile begins to rise in my throat. My handwriting is terrible anyway since my hand is constantly numb, and you can barely read my signature or the amount or any of it, and I don't care.

I hate paying bills so much that I absolutely refuse to write the amount paid on the slip included with the check, though I have been known to write: See the fucking check for the amount! out of absolute spite.

I can't even make myself care when the bills are late, or when we go over budget. I don't bother to get shocked when a bill is way high (for instance, our power/gas bill was almost 400 bucks this time. I know I should care, but I just don't.)

And don't tell me to set up auto withdrawels for everything, and that there are computer programs that will rectify it all for me because I can't stand the thought of spending even an hour setting that shit up. I hate math. I don't even like math when the computer does it for me.

I hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it HATE IT!!!!!

It goes so deep as to even include a basic hatred of money, from whence all this work comes. Doing the bills takes away every iota of joy from shopping. I hate to get a reciept when I shop because then that means I've got to tally it. Every reciept only means more work.

But, if I don't do the bills, PHF will, and then he frets and we argue.

I hate that worse.

Got to go pay bills now.

11 comments:

ssas said...

Yeah, nothing like a little irony in our day, since when we last talked on the phone I was shopping, eh?

Anonymous said...

"since my hand is constantly numb," maybe if you laid off the liquor you could remedy that?

MC Harv said...

Oh snaps!

Unknown said...

hey sweetie. im in colorado now. we must meet sometime soon.

xxooooo

email me
vadergrrrl@gmail.com

Mandy said...

Okay, now I understand why the title changed. I thought I was going nuts for a second.

ssas said...

hey, that cutie says to jump, I jump.

ssas said...

where else am I going to embarrass you?? at home??
we don't actually know each other, remember?

my mom always says that you should only be embarrassed by people in your family, so unless I had a distant, long ago cousin who was a convict sent to Australia, I think we're not related.

which also means we can flirt to our heart's content. :)

Unknown said...

You put masterbation in the title and then you write about bills? This is a disappointment for the horny readers.

ssas said...

blame my cute buddy Cryptic

Anonymous said...

I post anonymously and I eat poo.
Love to eat poo.
Mmm. gimme poo.
Oh. Did I mention I post anonymously.
Where's the poo?

ssas said...

I thought that I was a bitch was already a well-established fact. Guess you missed that post, Anon.