the one you've all been waiting for

The first bloghop of the new year. And the nominees are...

Poetry in Arabic is still poetry.
And. It. Still. Sucks.

A little *shrugging*, *bowing head*, *nodding enthusiastically* goes a long way.

OH MY GOD THERE'S A FUCKING CAPS KEY, EVERY KEYBOARD HAS ONE - IT'S OVER THERE ON YOUR LEFT - AND GUESS WHAT! - THERE'S ONE ON THE RIGHT TOO! And your car has a turn signal as well, asshole.

"Life and Times of a Seriously Bored Redhead."
Why is it that redheads think they are such hot shit? They think they are all "moody" and "hot-headed" and particularly talented partiers. I know a few, and trust me, we're all as wacked as you. Don't even get me started on blondes. I've got brown hair with gold streaks, and guess what! I'm a hell of a lot more fun than the rest of you, and I can get pissed off real good too. Cute title, but you're obviously stuck in the rut of your red-headedness.

An entire blog entitled "Mine?" If you don't know, then I sure as hell don't.

Each of this one's posts (let me guess, it's a woman) starts with:
Listening:
Feeling:
Huh. Didn't realize until just now that I don't care.

I've found that Canadian teenagers seem to be particularly philosophical. However, it doesn't work any better than here in the US because they are still fourteen years old and have no life experience. They're fond of saying things like: "I've always believed that no amount of money could buy happiness, or love." But, it could buy a decent blowjob.

A blog about dogs that's called Doggy Time. I would've called it "Doggy Style", but then, that's just me.

Blogger should have an "of age" rule. I just read about how Girl Scouts was so fun. Yes, folks, this is why Blogger runs so fucking slow; it's innundated with Girl Scouts typing innane posts sans punctuation. I realize that this turns some of you on.

I did like this self-description: "I'm Kaitlin and I'm sixteen and a junior in high school. Yippee."
That about sums it up.

"Yet another Christian Agrarian Commentary." I don't even know what that means. Does anybody know what that means??

"I suck at folding sheets." Yeah, I thought about writing a post about that too, but then I decided to contemplate suicide instead. It was more productive - try it.

The post about sleep made me yawn (must be the power of suggestion). And OMG she had a dream! Fascinating stuff, that.

Ooo goody, pictures. Ugly parents really do make ugly babies. Who knew?

Using something other than an arrow as a curser does not make you special. Not even if it's a tiny angel. Not even if it's got a yin/yang symbol on it. Not even if it wavers. Especially if it wavers.

"From the heart of a suppressed writer..." You're writing, aren't you? So, what are you suppressed about?

An abundance of people made resolutions along the lines of "not holding back and living life to the fullest." I thought that was what New Year's Eve was for. Screw the rest of the year. Same-o same-o is good enough for me.

There's a whole blog out there about grocery lists. I don't know what to say about this, except that I sure hope one of mine ends up on there! (Not bloody likely - they're in Detroit.)

Ok, we all know that the four month old is not typing his own blog. However, someone neglected to inform the parents how stupid this is...

Ok, we all know that the family cat is not typing her own blog. However, someone neglected to tell her owners how stupid this is...

And to think I neglected to mention the fifty blogs I cruised through that were a different language. How dare they use something besides English?! And most of them had poetry, too. Heh.

5 comments:

Jack said...

Oh, god, I love it when you make fun of blogs. It gets me all tingly inside... Maybe I should see a doctor.

Anonymous said...

I love reading you. You make me smile. You also had me looking for the 2nd caps key. D'oh!!! :P You're hair doesn't count since it can change without notice. (and has) You're just a hell of a lot more fun than ANYBODY which is why I like you. There's nobody I'd rather go hunting... I mean looking with. I still haven't committed to my own blog so I'm just going to have to count on you to keep on typing.

Fire Faerie said...

WoW SSaS...angry in the new year. We should go to the gym together and work out some of that aggression! Seriously...call me.

Greg said...

I was thinking about doing a good old fashioned blog bashing as well but you have intimidated me. Damnit sex, stop being funny and let me have some cake.

Anonymous said...

Different blogs, different take. Go for it.