oh, it's nobody. just me tryin' to be all hip and shit

You read it here first.

I'm doing it. I am snowboarding this weekend at Winter Park. That's the closest resort, well, big resort, to the Lake. (Yea we're goin' to the lake. --summertime pic, that. Isn't it heavenly?) Haven't been there in over a month and I'm homesick!!

I'm taking a lesson (translate - sliding down the bunny slope with a bunch of jack-offs from another state on my gortex-clad, well-toned, soon-to-be-black-and-blue- but-still-pretty-damn-fine ass). (Which brings to mind - I used to get told all the time by guys what a nice ass I had. Haven't been told that for a long time. I wonder if the novelty of my mighty fine ass has worn off for PHF?)

The Lad is taking a lesson too. His is all day and mine is two hours. I'm sure that's because as an adult I'm supposed to get better at this quicker. HA! I'm gonna suck, I know it. I'm such a fucking spaz when it comes to sports. I mean, I can walk down the street and shit, but when it comes to actually making my body go a certain way... it says "Fuck no, biatch. You just sit there on your ass and look sad." But for some insane reason I must try my damndest to be cool. Curse that urge! Damn it to hell!

I seriously have not been on skis lo these seven years, and I sucked before, so I figure, why not go and try something new to suck at? All the kids are doing it. It's been so long since I went skiing that the boarders then were still almost novelties; obnoxious snow hacks who carved off the tops of moguls and were really just the fuck in the way.

Now I'm gonna be one.

Greg, I will be wishing for you on Saturday even more than I wish for you... well, at other times. At least I get beer after, and all the Lad gets is a Sprite. He gets Sprite on weekends as a treat - yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm a responsible parent. It's a snore, but somebody's got to be one. If we're not too banged up (well, PHF will be fine - he's like an olympic skier or some shit - no seriously, I get all hot just watching him ski - it's like... beautiful, man) ok, so if I'M not too banged up I'll get to go out to the Lake Bar that night, where I shall drink my two dollar beers and PHF shall drink his three dollar Captain and Cokes and people watch. So you know I shall return Monday replete with stories in the genre of Old Men In Tap Shoes and European Guys Who Don't Realize They're Gay.

So play nice this weekend, kiddies. Don't get into any commentbox squabbles!! You know they won't be half as fun without me.


Greg said...

Go on with your bad self you little hipster. I give you about four hours before you finally toss your board into the backwood and hit the bar. But don't give up! Just imitate every good snowboarder you see coming down the slopes. And look sexy coming down the slopes too. If you look sexy, you'll board sexy. Sexy is very important.

The novelty of ass doesn't wear off. Cmon sex you know these things! That's like saying a rainbow ran out of pretty juice. Hey don't worry though, maybe he thinks the niceness of your ass has already been established and nothing more needs to be said. You know how us guys are when it comes to affirmations, you're gonna have to beat it out of him.

T Kwong said...

Think of it this way: if you can't make it as a snow-sports hipster you can always become a music hipster. All that requires is a lot of arrogance and three band names that no one else recognizes.


sex scenes at starbucks said...

Yeah, I guess that worked for you, huh?

sex scenes at starbucks said...

As far as the ass issue, when an ass has gone through the changes that mine has gone through in the past ten years (from cute to ahem... wider, shall we say, and then back to hot again once the having of babies was over) the occassional expression of appreciation is, well, appreciated. If guys gave more regular compliments on their chick's ass, they might get a more regular piece of said ass.

Ooooh, now I get it. PHF doesn't have that problem. Hmm, that sets me to thinkin...

Greg said...

mmmhmm, i was about to say....

Lunatic said...

Keep your weight uphill; better to fall on that sweet ass than that pretty face.

By the way, who is PHF? I am assuming the Lad is your son? Sorry, I'm all new and shit. E-mail me so I can catch up.

T Kwong said...

"Yeah, I guess that worked for you, huh?"

Well, that wasn't nice at all. I could be much worse, you know.

Besides, I work at a college radio station, I'm supposed to ramble on about bands no one cares about.


daniel said...

[quote]and then back to hot again[/quote]


Webcam address. plz. thx.

me said...

lol, I remember my first snow-boarding experience. I was too old to be taking it up, I felt this way and then all the 'kids' (teens) around me were letting me know this as well. So of course that made me want to do it that much more, and better than them. So now I'm on a mission, I'm going to do it no matter what. I fell right on my ass on the first try down that snowy shit. But, I got up and kept right on going over and over until I looked cool enough. What's cool enough you ask? I'm not sure, but I was at the cool enough for me stage before I stopped. At first I got to looking cool falling down, but finally learned to stay where I was supposed to be, lol.

Yes I had a sore ass the next day, and probably will never ever snow-board again, but damn that felt good to be a big kid again!

sex scenes at starbucks said...

I'm baaaack.

Thomas- you know I'm teasin' babycakes.

Cryp - PHF (wisely probably) ruled out pix for moi online. Sorry. I'll leave my sweet ass to your imagination.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

PHF= pony haired fool, adoring husband
The Lad is the 6 year old son
Lass, or Monkey Lass, or Monkey is 2 year old daughter.

Does that help?

Stacy- I for one LOVED snowboarding and will go again ASAP. It felt way cool and hip and more than that-- I found meself a new sport! More on that later.

daniel said...

heee! Was playing!

sex scenes at starbucks said...

You know I'll play anytime, Cryp.