now back to our regularly scheduled crying

Sorry, Monkey for stealing your format, but I don't have one general topic today - lots of miscellaneous ramblings. Oh, fuck, did I just write that out loud? I think I've even done that before. Apologies all round. Again.

Monkey-lass is such an intent whiner/cryer that she can be distracted from crying, have an entire conversation, and then go back to crying as if it never happened.
Little girls and sugar and sweet, my ass.

**

Horoscope: You'll be asked by the higher-ups to take on far more responsibilities soon -- but you won't mind a bit. You may, however, become so used to being in charge that you decide you like it.

Now this I truly do not understand. I'm the mom. I am the higher up. I already like being in charge. (I'm anti-authority, as PHF constantly reminds me.)

But more responsibilities? As if.

**

Saw Big Scary Guy at the gym. Just to illustrate how scary: he eyed me in the mirror and I went cold all over. Just... icy, arctic tundra, up-Mount-Everest-without- a- sherpa cold. Death whispering in my ear cold. Granted, it could have been from the, count 'em, 300 ab reps I did today. Kinda made me sick inside. (And is my stomach flat?? Fuck, no!)

But to illustrate how big: he did chest presses with, I shit you not, two one hundred pound dumbbells. Steady as a rock, that one, the last rep as clean as the first.

He only did one set though. Pussy.

**

Dorm reporter writes: You put masterbation in the title and then you write about bills? This is a disappointment for the horny readers.

I think he could substitute "male" for horny. I see an awful lot of talk about self-stim on men's blogs. I found it particularly funny because I think that was the first (and second and third and now fourth) times that the word masturbation has even been used here at SS@S. (Thank you for clarifying the spelling, Jack.) Not so into it meself. Of course, I get the real deal pretty regular...

Oops, did I just alienate anyone with that? Sorry. We're, uh, married. Long time now. It's actually more like boring, once a month, obligatory, I-want-to-go-shopping-tomorrow-and-leave-the-kids-with-you, barely-enough-foreplay, missionary-position, oh-jeez-do-I-have-to-do-that-this-time?, will-you-just-come-already-I've-got-an-early-con-call sex. The rest of the time we hardly look at each other, much less kiss, or something like that.

It's why I flirt so much.

**

I have to get out of this country within the next six months or I seriously cannot be held responsible. Fuck. I'm sick of the US. I can't even watch the news because it reminds me that I'm stuck here and there's a big world out there just being the world and being all interesting and shit.

**

Bush's inauguration?? Oh yeah, I'm glued to it. I just can't wait to see what Laura and the twins are wearing... ppppfffttt!

**

And there's nothing on tv. I'm watching Carnivale, MI5, Scrubs, and I keep trying to remember to record Lost. I think that looks good. The last time I saw it some great invisible "force" was sweeping silently through the jungle. Can anybody tell me if it's progressed past that and if it's worth a damn? And do the girls have underarm hair? I mean, let's get real. They've got to have underarm hair by now. When, oh when, is Keen Eddie starting back? And sorry, fab five, but I'm bored with you guys too.

I couldn't make it through Desperate Housewives last night. PHF chuckled a couple of times but I rolled over and went to sleep and I wasn't even tired.

The rest of the Tivo memory is taken up with Monster Garage and Pimp My Ride.

**

Valentine's Day is looking up. Virtigo's son's birthday was at one of those jumpy places, and they were big enough that us grups could get in there and jump too, so we came up with the idea of having a grown-up party there. (Two beer limit though - I bet there's a puke fee.) Then Beth thought maybe it would be good for Valentine's day. Capital idea, actually. Beats a lame dinner, and oooo, a red lace teddy! I'm a secular holiday rebel anyway.

**

btw, Anon, I didn't drink yesterday (by chance, not per your advice) and this morning I woke up not only numb, but in massive amounts of pain. Just thought you would want to know, since you are so concerned and shit. Fuck you very much.

**

Everyone else have a super Tuesday (ok, Wed, Cryp) and be nice to each other for crissake!

Oh, that last was meant for my kids. Sorry.

12 comments:

MC Harv said...

You're really bitter about that anonymous spinster, aren't you?

ssas said...

I have a hunch as to whom it might be.

Besides, if you can't have a commentbox war, I can sure try!!

Sorry I accused you darlin'. I didn't actually think it was you, and if it had been I would have suggested that you rubbing my shoulder and arm might make me feel better...

MC Harv said...

Ooh, you tease...

ssas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Two one hundred pound dumbells? Most high school kids can bench press with 200. And crunches will no get those abs plat, running and good posture will. Damn I sound like an former Army Staff Seargent. oh wait, I am. Well OK then. Norway has a very high standard of living. If you prefere tropical I hear belize is nice.
Now If you don't get happier I will be forced to send you your favorite bottle of whatever!

;->

Blue

ssas said...

Blue- Bushmills Irish Whiskey. (just kidding - I'm happy enough.)

Well, we aren't teenagers any more. Most of the well-built guys I work out with do presses with fifties and under but bench much more. This guy handled those dusty 100s like they were fifteens and without a spot. He didn't need one. It was really something to see.

Jack- Tease?? Hey, it ain't my fault you're in Chicago. But we can dream, can't we?

Greg said...

I'll have a super Tuesday because you want me to, and i'll be nice as well. Unless you want me to be bad, i can be a very, very bad boy. Okay I can't type that with a straight face. Sorry sex, really. Chase, cut, us, k?

Sorry for my absense, I was in Mammoth tearing up the slopes. Too bad I wasn't in Colorado, I'd be tearing up the sheets as well. Aww shizzle there i go again.

T Kwong said...

Inauguration gets better every day. Go Atheist, go, ban that prayer! Seriously, I hope the guy wins the challenge.

-Thomas

ssas said...

Greg- hey you guys know I love it when you flirt back. I think Cryptic is holding back on me :)

Thomas- I haven't been watching the news. What is the challenge?

Cryptic- believe it or not I used to be able to convert from metric in my head (for my job). The way you put it, it does sound like he's a pussy. If it wasn't for that "I'd just as soon kill ya as look at ya" expression.

Mandy said...

And here I thought I was the only person who watched Eddie Keen! Fox said they were going to bring it back, but that guy on the show (whom I luv and *drool*) is on Boston Legal now, and that blonde chick is dating Jude Law and all Alfie'd out.

Just seems like they are better off now...

T Kwong said...

Sorry, I'm a news-junkie. It's a horrible addiction.

Almost every cermony for the past forty years has included a prayer of some variety. Us in the progressive end of the building don't usually notice this non-seperation because we're still in bed or just don't bother too watch. Thankfully, the guy that sued over, "under God," is suing to block said prayer.

I hope her wins, especially as a ruling in the opposite direction would mean an overturning of a previously established decision that publically funded equipment could not be used to broadcast prayers (re: Texas footall games).

-Thomas

Price of Silence said...

Hey, thanks for the link! I feel more famous than Brad and Jen.