news from the zoo

Went to the zoo today and it was exhausting. Don't know why, but three hours into it we all were crabby and near collapse. PHF recovered in time to go do Carnage Canyon in Beastie (no winching or wenching, though - I think he was disappointed).

Our zoo is big and recently updated, and way cool. It used to be a little run down, but now it's all hip and shit. The first thing you see is the ginormous male lion sitting on a mound like he's king of the zoo. The guy has some elephantine huevos on him, let me tell you.

Which gets me to thinking that there were lots of different sorts of zoolet babies lately - the zoo is a veritable orgy pit, apparently.

I love the zoo. Dunno why. Captive, pacing animals, whiny kids, bad food, and usually it's hotter than bejesus out. But I still love it. It always wears me out. I don't ever, I mean ever, nap, but I often take ten minutes after going to the zoo. All the sights and sounds and smells; sensory overload! and I'm like an infant after a trip to the grocery store. (For those of you not in the know, a 45 minute grocery store trip translates into a 3 hour nap for infants. Works every time.)

The year most of us in our set turned 30 we all had little kid birthday parties. I can't recall exactly how it started, but we all did, and we passed around the same 3 and 0 birthday candles too. It was fun. Anyway, my party (well, the daytime party) was a trip to the zoo. Well, it was only 130 out that day - August 16 - mark your calendars - and funnily enough we brought sack lunches (kid's birthday, remember) and I remember my coke was not only luke warm but hot. No amount of rum can make that right. We all were sunburned for the party that night (during which two people very nearly had sex on my kitchen counter. But that's a story for another day). All the animals were listless that day, worthless really, it was all we could do not to jump into the penguin pool with them, and we all went back to my house and lay on the living room floor (there was probably about 10 of us) and took a good long nap together.

Innappropriate feelage? Dunno. I was asleep. *shrug* maybe.

Spanking? Definitely.

My second zoo story has to do with the Topeka Zoo, which actually is a pretty good zoo. It's got a top notch rainforest, which is one of my favorite parts of the zoo(when I get good and rich I'm having my own frickin' rain forest off the back of my house and I'll breakfast with the monkeys and snakes and toucans and swim nekked in the lagoon with flamingos all round.) Anyway, oddly enough, it burned. It really was a slash and burn thing - I think I recall that somebody went in there and set it - and it was so funny to say, "Jeez, did you hear about that awful rainforest fire? Brazil? No, no, Topeka."

Other than the minor touch of sadness from our little lass, who is a monkey, (with hair on her back and ears and stuff) that she couldn't go into the monkey cage and climb on the ropes with them, it was a good day.

And I took a quick nap in the car on the way home.

Feelage? PHF really isn't in to that sort of thing anymore, but we were all asleep so I can't confirm or deny. Spanking? Hmmm, maybe tonight...

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