fun with thesaurus.com

1 entry found for mucus.
Entry: slime
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: muck
Synonyms: fungus, glop, goo, gunk, mire, mucus, mud, ooze, scum, slub, sludge, waste

I'm sick.

I'm a veritable fountain of snot. Picture a mountain river during spring melt; my upper lip causing eddies and swirls before I can get to the kleenex box. We're not talking mere steady percolation here. We're talking a cascading sluice of... Ok, too much. Sorry. But it makes one wonder, how much snot is produced during the average cold? Perhaps it's dependant upon factors, such as: how large the person, how large the face that accomodates the sinus cavities, and how big the schnoz.

Except I can debunk these theories immediately, because in her lifetime Punkinhead has already produced more snot than the population of the state of Kansas, and she's still-a-goin'. And her nose is way teensy. And cute. Even when it's snotty.

She does this thing where she climbs up into my chair behind me and hugs my back and tells me "Me love you too." Why "too?" Dunno. Guess it goes without saying...

But anyway, she kissed me the other day, and I said "EEEUUUUWWW YUK. You're all slobbery."

Only it wasn't slobber.

So I knew it was coming. Being sick isn't all bad. I feel bad enough to blow off stuff like working out and cooking and laundry. But I've only been too sick once to write, and then I read and read and read... Finished the first book of Tad Williams Otherland series, and that's nothing to sneeze at. (Heh, good one, eh?)

Anyway, so I can usually write. Once when I was sick with this thing that just really caused vertigo more than anything, I sat in a chair in the front room and produced about a third of The True Ternion. That was some serious prolificacy. Yeah, it's a word. Looked it up and everything. (I can't have Mr. Dictionary (aka; Krypto) catching me in another blunder. Yeah, I'm bitter...) Never mind that it all got thrown out later, because it was shit.

I was sick, after all.

4 comments:

Goodkingalan said...

Puffs with lotion are better!

I did have to look up "prolificacy", then after reading the definition slapped myself in the head for being dense, and not figuring out the definition.

Greg said...

I don't know where the hell snot comes from, I don't know what its there for, but its neverending. Theoretically, when i'm sick i should be able to blow all of the snot out of my body before it regenerates, and believe me i've tried, but i damn near gave myself a nose bleed.

I'm sorry you're sick. I'd be cranky as shit. It seems that's all i can ever afford to be when i'm sick. Just cranky and pissed off at the world and all its germs. Then i get better and i'm happy again.

Bob said...

Strange, but true:

My ex's family lovingly referred to me as "Webster."

ssas said...

If you corrected them as much as you correct me, it might not have been so loving...

Ok, just kidding. You know I think you're a darling boy, and I of course have an appreciation for correct usage and spelling (even when it's turned on me) but I'm crabby 'cause of all the snot in my head.

Hmm, that gets me to thinking of a post idea...