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Did you ever meet someone who was really cool, who you could just tell was cool and nice and sweet, but not in a dorky way, but more like yourself (or myself, since this is what this is about); straight up decent, but edgy enough to embrace the darker side of life with gusto? I met this guy who fits that category last summer. Problem was, we were at a... well, an "event" where a certain protocol was required. So when this rather asshole-ish other guy butted in, there was little I could do but say,
"Dude. Next time you come to Boulder, let's go out, right?"
We finally did last night. Funny thing is, I would have walked right by him on the street and never realized it was him. I'm pretty good with faces, but he'd shaved a hefty beard in the meantime (less is more when it comes to facial hair, and while I'm on the subject: that little bunch of hair on your chin and none anywhere else is just dumb. It doesn't say "I'm cool." It says, "I'm stupid because I think this is cool." Goatees can be cool on the right face, and I currently only know about three guys that can pull it off, one of whom is PHF, and that's about it. And they're yucky to kiss if they get very long at all, so the rest of you have got to shave at least every third day.)
Anyway, it's weird to meet someone once, actually kinda briefly, and then sit across from him at a dinner table and have instant raport. I also liked the girlfriend a lot (I know he'll read this at some point, so I'll say this: she SO has your number, dude.) And he's got a kid, too, so he knows about that part of life.
Hmm, how to describe him? Some say he looks like an LL Bean model, though his daughter took him shopping to update his look, so I'd go more with JCrew. (Yeah, guys, out with the plaid, in with the stripes. I'll keep saying it until you hear me.) We hashed this all out last night. He suggested Banana Republic, kinda hopefully, and I was like, "No way... Unless you're gay? You aren't gay are you? Not that there's anything wrong with that."
He's not.
Then we noticed the girlfriend - GF, wouldn't take off her coat. Too low-cut of a dress, too much cleavage. Man, I keep getting slapped in the face with big boobs (well, not literally, but nice imagery for the boys who read me) and I'm so jealous. But not enough to get faksies. So all night she was harrassed mercilessly about taking her coat off. She finally did, and I believe I was drunk enough then to be unable to control my staring, and back on the coat went. Man, I wish I had cleavage...
Anyway, nearly everything that was said was in the category of flinging shit or deflecting said shit, and some enlightening secrets were revealed by accident, though they say there's no such thing, so relax, GF. Very, very fun time.
This guy, while genuinely a nice person, also has a great sense of humor, especially about himself. One of the first things I do when I meet someone is to instinctively tease them. Nothiing mean, just a little, to find out where they stand on themselves. Ninety percent of people will say something defensive. When they take it (or, more rarely, dish your shit right back at you in an antique silver bowl- like this guy) I know I've found a real gem. And sometimes you get the opportunity to put used-car-salesmen-types in their place. Sorry, inside joke on that one, though many of you know what I mean.
GF is a high school music teacher (spell it, "chior"), which always makes me wary because there are so few cool teachers out there. Often they are cool only with the kids, but not with adults. She's cool rather in the manner of
Krypto (I'm going to make an acronym for this html situation like GDFHTML!!!!) She had great teaching stories, and she's got to start a blog on them. I won't ruin it for you here. The one funny reference I'll share is when she said something about a student who will be dancing on a pole before long. That was good humor.
When we got home, still regaling in our night of fun, I was talking to the babysitter and saw a bit of movement behind her. I chalked it up to my kitty's ghost. But then I saw it AGAIN. And screamed!
"MMMMOOOOOUUUUUSSSSEEEE!"
So we engaged in a little late night mouse-herding. It must have looked pretty hilarous, two half drunk adults chasing a mouse. Can you guess who had the faster reflexes? We got it into my study and it hid in the tangle of computer wires. Then it paused at the back door and looked back at us like, "Really. Do you realize how freakin' cold it is out there??" We finally chased it out the door and slammed it shut. Then it looked back at us through the glass, but we couldn't hear it squeek anymore.
Did I feel guilty? NO. I mean, I guess it was cute.
In a nasty, disease riddled, biting, vile sort of way.
Anyway, this goes to prove my point from before: where there's one mouse there's more. Goddamn, what do we do now?
1 comment:
Pointing out the future big earners at the titty bar is actually a fairly widespread practice among teachers in the lounge. One of my colleagues often says, "If I can't help her out in the classroom now, I know I can help her by tipping her generously when she's in my lap someday..."
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